40 Questions: Number 25

Did anyone notice back at the beginning of the year that I skipped a number in my 40 Questions?

25. What one special thing would you like to do in 2013 and what other special plans do have for this year??

I skipped this question, because the answer was too 'up in the air'. We had an idea of what we wanted to do in 2013, but we didn't know if it would definitely be in 2013 or not.

But now we know that it will be, so here I go answering it.

It's kind of a big reveal, so perhaps a drum roll is in order? Or a gong...

We are moving back to the United States.

...........

I kind of need to take a deep breath after saying that. A BIG deep breath. This is a HUGE change for us, and for myself in particular.

There's no way to just summarise it, or blow over it. It's HUGE for me.

...........

When I moved to Scotland, it was for life. I had no intentions of moving back 'home', for Scotland was my new home. The McFarlanes were my new family. (And I just can't go into how much I love them, because on that subject, I am in utter denial, and just refuse to go there. But HOLY CRAP I love them all with my whole entire heart.)

Yet, last Christmas, being back in Arkansas, something changed. Scott and I joked constantly while we were there that we should just move there. But it was in jest because we always say that, but two weeks back in Scotland and we are happy to be where we are.

That time was different though. We came back, settled back in - and I distinctly remember in Gaelic class one night thinking, 'I love Scotland so much, I would never leave. I will be buried here.' Then the very next day, more hurricane-like storms came and I thought, 'I need to get out of here.' And that's when we started talking seriously about the possibility of moving.

We've now decided it's happening, and we've made official steps towards it. We have submitted forms, paid stupidly big fees, and have started informing people of our plans.

It is very exciting while very sad all at the same time.

I am of course excited about doing this; if I weren't, I don't think we'd have decided to go for it. BUT. There are things here that I just hate the thought of leaving. Obviously I don't want to leave my friends and family, but it's also the Gaelic school and Gaelic education that I LOVE - and highly recommending anyone look into, as it's been the best possible thing we could have chosen to do for our kids here - that I'll hate leaving, and my new church which I wish I'd found so much sooner, and even Scotland itself, with its beauty and culture. There are many things I'll hate about leaving this home for my old home. Some things and people I'll miss so much, I just can't face it without crying.  (I think you all know who you are.  I love you.)

But we are moving to the States for good reasons. The area we are moving to is safer, cleaner, and sunnier. Our kids will get a great life out there, with the standard of living, the weather, and so many other things. We look forward to starting fresh with basically nothing (we are giving away and/or selling nearly everything we own... which, incidentally, if you need or want anything...! Just ask if we have something or if something we have has already been claimed!) and starting a completely new chapter in our lives. We are looking forward to getting to know my family again, which has changed in so many ways since 2004. The kids are looking forward to getting an outdoor pool and a dog!

I could really go on and on, as this has been a decision in the making for so long now and has taken in so many factors. But like I said, I don't really want to go any more deeply into it than that. Basically, we are just ready to make it official and talk about it openly, so here we are, revealing the McFarlane Exodus 2013.

So there it is. Out in the open. Now you know. And now I can talk about it.


NOW on a happier note, here are the cupcakes for the Port Glasgow Bulb Show tomorrow, baked on behalf of the Gaelic Nursery.

Chocolate 'Black Bottom' Cheesecake Surprise Cupcakes