Baby Weight Blues

So, sure, I only had a baby one month ago.  Yeah, yeah, yeah it took my nine months to put the weight on, it'll take me nine months to get it back off.  I know all this.  I say it to new mums every day. (Or, you know, when it comes up.)

But I am so desperate to get this weight off.

My husband has been on the keto diet for a wee while and has lost tons of weight.  I decided to try it too.  After all, I'm practically eating all the same stuff anyway, since we eat the same meals.  I started on Saturday.

It's Tuesday, and I have already fallen off the wagon.

I'm trying not to beat myself up over it.  I've made excuses.  My excuses are probably pretty valid: breastfeeding, baby born only a month ago, already tired from running after three kids.  But I feel like a failure.  I hate failing anything, even something as small as a diet.  When I decide to go for something, I go for it full on.  To give up makes me feel weak.  I hate feeling weak.

I want to lose 18 lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and then another 8 to get to my target. I just need to have patience and not rush it.  I have two weeks until my six-week check-up, and as long as I get the go-ahead from the doctor, I'd like to get back to my BodyPump classes.  Very low weights, of course, but anything to get active again.  At least then, I can eat a bit more of what I really want and not feel too guilty about it.

Question is, do I get back onto my diet and just cheat when I need to (i.e., when I need an energy boost) or do I just say screw it altogether?  Is there a middle ground?