Ambiguous Inside

I'm happy with my life. I've got to say that first.

But these past couple of days have been so surreal. I look around me and wonder what has happened. How did I get here? A house that never looks tidy, no matter how much time I spend cleaning, two daughters who have somehow been entrusted in my care, work that I am solely responsible for completing in my own time....

And right now, this very instant, the one instant I sit down and try to think on paper (computer), all I'm getting is 'Mum! Mum! Fifi wants juice!' Yes, she speaks of herself in third person.

And Lolly's highchair is surrounded in the lunch I prepared for her, all over the floor.

And it's 15 minutes past noon, and I just managed to get out of my pajamas. Literally 5 minutes before 12. That is not like me.

And I've got clothes out on the line that keep getting wet because the sun comes out brightly, then the rain comes out of nowhere. And then the sun comes back out, and so I leave the clothes to maybe re-start drying. And then it will rain.

I've got to go get juice for Fifi. And the rest of Lolly's pitta sandwich.

But like I said, really, I am happy. Hearing Fifi repeat Dora speaking Spanish, well, that's just adorable. And if you could see Lolly right now in her little hoodie, you'd keel over from the sweetness.

Speaking of sweetness, I want sweeties. But I'm on a diet, so guess I'll just eat a handful of seeds or something.

(Can't tell if I'm really happy or not? Me neither. But I know I am. Just today, this week, who knows.)