Job

I'm applying for a job as a 'Health Improvement Practitioner' in Infant Feeding within the NHS. This job has been rumoured for a very long time, and I always fantasised about applying for it, but now that it's a reality, I'm extremely torn. While I would LOVE this job and do a really good job at it, I am not ready to go back to work. Lolly is still a little baby, still exclusively breastfed, and I'm not ready to be separated from her. Plus, I don't even know that the job would be worth it financially after paying to put them into nursery or whatever. Even if only Fi went into nursery and I got someone personal to watch Lolly (and bring her to me during the day for feeding breaks), I still don't know if it would be worth it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more uneasy it makes me. But I've filled in the application and I will send it tomorrow and leave it at that. If anything, it's good practice to keep up with how to apply for a job. And if I get an interview, I'll take the interview and just see what happens. Interviewing is a good skill to keep up too, so it won't be effort wasted regardless of the outcome. If I'm actually offered the job, then I'll have to make a decision, but it may not ever even come to that...

Anyway, I'm really torn. Job I'd LOVE to have in a field I want to get into or stay home with my babies. I still think babies win.