McFarlane Family Video E-Card

(Your real Christmas cards will be in the mail soon... just waiting on my ink cartridges to arrive so I can print the newsletters! Happy New Year!)

Christmas Cheer Fear

If Santa looks like this:



No wonder Fifi looked like this:

Advent

I decided earlier in the year that I'd do an advent calendar for the girls with sweeties and small toys in the pockets for each day of December. But then my Nov-Dec issue of Mothering arrived in the mail, and it had the most splendid suggestion for advent calendars: instead of sweeties and toys, do a special activity each day as a family. I love it! So I thought I'd share the idea with you too. Below is what I've listed for each day. The girls will reach into the pocket each morning and pull out a slip of paper. Whatever is written on that paper is what we will do that day. It's a bit ambitious, some of these things, but I'm hoping it'll give us something to look forward to each day and accomplish. I also better add that I stole some of the ideas from the ideas in the magazine, though some are originally mine too.

You, of course, would need to adapt it to your lives if you choose to do it too. I've incorporated already planned events into the calendar, and have taken into account days when I know we'll be more busy than others. (For instance, I have a couple of nights out planned for December, so on those days we'll just do something simple and easy.)

I hope this will inspire some of you to do something similar. Sorry for leaving it so late, but I've just gotten around to it myself!

Merry Christmas!

McFarlane Family Advent Calendar Activities:
1. Make paper chains and use them to count down Christmas!
2. Create gift tags using recycled and repurposed items from around the house.
3. Put together a shoebox of presents to send to a charity.
4. String popcorn and cranberries for a tree outside for the birds to eat!
5. Cut colourful snowflakes and hang them in the window.
6. Produce a family video e-card and send to family and friends.
7. Go to a Christmas party at Mummy’s class!
8. Make gingerbread men for the Christmas tree.
9. Have a Christmas picnic in our pajamas on the floor.
10. Make festive cookies and deliver them to our new neighbours.
11. Look through old photo albums and talk about the pictures.
12. Wrap up presents in brown paper and decorate them.
13. Take a walk and pick pinecones.
14. Make a wreath using paper plates and tissue paper.
15. Watch a Christmas movie with Daddy.
16. Read a story about Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus.
17. Pick up Musha at the airport!
18. Make Lolly a special birthday tree ornament.
19. Go for a special walk with Daddy and Musha.
20. Eat dinner by candlelight only with the fancy dishes
21. Go to a Christmas party at FunWorld and meet Santa!
22. Take Musha to the shop to make your very own teddy bears!
23. Eat ice cream while watching a cosy Christmas movie.
24. Go to midnight mass with Caspar and Nina.
25. Eat chocolate gravy for breakfast and open presents!

We're in!

No time to blog, must unpack. Photos will be taken once the house looks like a normal house, not a warehouse.

Moving week.
Crazy.

Moving and Packing

I think it's time I update, lest everyone think that I'm still as worn to a frazzle (what a good phrase) as before.

I'm better. Ahem.

Still stressed though, as moving day creeps closer. Less than two weeks to go and the house is a bombsite.

I would like to be able to do nothing this week but pack, but I'm simply too busy, as usual. My schedule is as follows:

Monday - TinyTalk in morning, Fifi dance in afternoon
Tuesday - Antenatal Fayre (where I do a presentation to pregnant mums about our breastfeeding text service) in morning, Fifi dance in afternoon
Wednesday - FREE
Thursday - Toddlers in morning (yes, I could skip it, but Fifi and Lolly and I all love it too much), breastfeeding group in afternoon, unless I can pawn it off on someone else
Friday - TinyTalk in morning, Jewelry & Craft party in evening, with set-up in afternoon
Saturday - Cameron's Un-Birthday party, which I'm really teetering on skipping, but it's CAMERON, my lovely Sarah's son, I really can't bear to miss it

And then, it becomes the LAST WEEK.

Which simply MUST be cleared. So TinyTalk on Monday and Friday and THAT'S IT. Other than the moving on Friday, of course.

Anyone want to baby-sit over the next few days???

If I Hear a Whiny 'MUMMY?!' One More Time...

I hope being a good mum isn't meant to be a constant state because right now I am so vacillating between good and crap. I've had two sick daughters for a week now (though I think they are over it now, fingers crossed) and being couped up in the house with them has driven us all to extraction. There were only two days of the sweet, wanting to sleep and cuddle all day period; since then, they've been in that crabbit, moany, grumpy phase which is making me want to hang them upside down from the clothesline.

Lolly's been especially trying. She WILL. NOT. be put down. She WILL. NOT. be held either. It's constant screaming and crying from her. The first few days, I was filled with sympathy and compassion; after that, I started going mental. If I put her down, she shrieks and comes crawling up my leg, biting me and wiping her snotty nose across my jeans. When I pick her up, she shrieks and fights to get back down. It's CONSTANT. I've used up so much petrol this week just driving them around, because the car is the only place Lolly will sleep.

Fifi's been a bit better, but she's harder on a different scale. She's just been whiny and pestery and ornery. But at least she can tell me what she wants, which has just been pretty much juice and medicine and DVDs.

But on the other hand, I've had some good times in the house with them. We've sat in the dark watching lots of movies on the couch, Fifi's head in my lap and Lolly nursing at my boob. We've done lots of crafts (we made a Christmas bank and a milk carton pig!) and lots of cooking (Big Cook Little Cook rocks my world). At those times, I think I'm doing a pretty good job with these little chicas.

We go away for the weekend tomorrow. I am so grateful. I need the break. Scott's parents are coming too, so the first evening will be child-free. I am so looking forward to it. Oh please don't let the sickness reappear before then!

Long Time

Yes, I realise I've been neglecting my blog. Better than neglecting my real life, right?

Well, in current news, we are moving house! We have officially outgrown the second-last house in Greenock and will be moving to some-random-flat-in-the-centre-of Greenock. Doesn't have the same ring to it. But it's a 3-bedroom, which suits us much better. It's right in the centre of town, literally one block from the school the girls will attend and 2 or 3 blocks from church and our Thursday toddler group. It's great. Gonna save so much money in petrol!

So the next few weeks are going to be predominated by packing and trying to clear out. While the new place has more rooms, it doesn't have a loft so our storage space is going to drop significantly.

As will blogging time. Heh. As if you're going to notice a difference.

Be back soon.

Word Of Caution

If you are looking for a stock image of a little old sweet grandma for display purposes, do not type 'granny' into Google images. Trust me.

No, trust me.

Down Days

I don't know why I dread days in the house.

There's something terrifying about entertaining two children of different ages within the four walls of your own home.

But often, they end up being wonderful days, and I think, 'I should do this more often.'

Today, I do have somewhere to be in the afternoon, but this morning was free. Nothing houseworky has really gotten done, but at least I've had time to clean up our little messes as we go. And we haven't done any organised games or crafts, but the girls had a leisurely bath, and I painted Fifi's nails. It's just been nice and quiet. Okay, quiet isn't the right word AT ALL. Perhaps just relaxed is what I mean.

However, now that it's getting closet to time to go, I'm feeling stressed out, because the morning has been so laid back, I'm not at all prepared to leave!

Anyway, must plan more days in. They aren't as bad as I imagine them to be. (Ask me to repeat that the next day we are rained in, and I might have a different resposne.)

Cheeky Children

It's a cold, wet day. Fifi spotted her sandals and started putting them on. I told her she couldn't wear her sandals today. She said (and I quote):

"I too big for listening to you."

I don't mean to brag but...

My family ate the same meal THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW.

First was the chicken corn soup, mentioned below. Next night it was Tom Kha Gai soup (!) and the next night it was chicken breasts with rice and fried okra (!!).

It truly warms my heart that my daughters are eating Thai food and okra.

Chicken Corn Soup - Mamaw Arnold's Recipe

Last night, we pulled out the flaps to our butterfly dinner table and had a nice family meal. For once, each member of my family ate the same thing. All four of us. I made chicken corn soup, which my grandma Arnold used to make. Scott didn't realise what soup I was talking about and was grumpy at the thought of 'just soup' for dinner until he saw me making it. Then he was happy. Fifi never eats ANY of my soups or any pasta, so I was pleased when she first ate all the chicken out, then amazed when she ate all the bow pasta and then utterly shocked when she started in on the corn. I made a little saucepan off to the side for Lolly of the same soup minus the stock cube (too salty) and she ate a major portion of it, chicken pieces and adult-sized pasta and all.

It was heart warming to think I'd actually fed my whole family something they all enjoyed. Thanks, Mamaw.

How To Make (My Way):
(Dead Simple, Really)
2 cans of corn, water and all
2-3 cups of chicken broth (water and 2 or 3 stock cubes)
5 chicken drumsticks or 1 can of chicken if available
half a bag of bow pasta (however, at least half of my bags)

Put it all in a pot, and bring to a boil. Chicken and pasta will both be ready at the same time. Season with lots of black pepper!

Fifteen...

...weeks until Christmas.

I can't wait to see my daddy.

Mexican Fiesta

Okay, I know Fifi's birthday is five months away, but I've already started planning it. She is right into Dora the Explorer, so I've decided to give her a Mexican Fiesta birthday party.

I was online today and found a website selling Mexican (and Guatemalan) goods wholesale. There is some great stuff there, but minimum orders are $100, so if I go with it, I'll be getting EVERYTHING there. They've got loads of stuff to use as party favours, like mini sombreros, bamboo flutes, maracas, handbags, etc. And I'm going to make friendship bracelets. These kids are gonna have the awesomest party bags EVER. I'm also going to buy my girls Pueblo dresses and myself a Pueblo blouse and Scott a Baja shirt. He said he'd like a sombrero too.

Scott's going to cut a larg cactus out of ply board, and I'm going to paint it green and drill holes in it to stick green Christmas lights into. This will be for photo ops! I'm going to decorate the place with tissue paper flowers and coloured Christmas lights and Mexican blankets (I have only one, but my friend is married to a Mexican, so I'm banking on her having one or two). There will be a pinata. We will eat tacos and quesadillas. I'm going to make a tie-dye Dora cake. We will sing Feliz Cumpleanos instead of Happy Birthday.

I heart birthday parties.

Now, lest I forget my second-born, Lolly's birthday is the month before (only four months away?! WHAT?!), so for her party, I'm going to do a Carousel theme. How? I do not know yet. Perhaps I should be thinking more about her party. It'll probably end up being an old-fashioned American carnival thing, since I doubt I'll find many carousel-related items, but the reason I want this theme is a) I have carousel buttons which need to be put to use somehow and b) I want to make this carousel cake. Or something similar. I've got the instructions in a book, and it is too cute. However, I'll need to think up some more ideas on how to theme the party out.

As I said, I heart birthday parties. Sigh.

Did I Mention...?

We got our new car?

Let us ne'er forget The Faithfulness of the Skoda.



You served us well. RIP.

And now, behold, The Zafira.



Seven seats equals three more kids, according to my calculations. (It only equals leg room and a large boot to Scott's.)

I heart it.

We're Not Gonna Pay...

LAST YEAR'S RENT!!!

Okay, actually, we are and we do and we get that paying rent is part of life. But when you're an idealistic teenager, the musical RENT was just so meaningful. Never sell out! Live poor as long as you are living your art! Don't pay rent! Stick it to the man!

Okay, that's also not the primary focus of the musical either. It's really about living each day as if it were your last and loving people. So that part's still good.

Anyway, the point is, I've just booked tickets to see No Nonsense Productions present RENT at the Arts Guild! I must be honest. I booked them with a smirk... it's going to be very amusing listening to west coast Scots put on a New York accent. And seeing as I've seen the show done by two different professional companies, it will be interesting watching an amateur group perform it. But nevertheless, I am excited. I'm dragging Scott with me (so literally too), and the girlies are going over to Auntie Kate and Uncle Faisal's for the evening. (I better get expressing.)

It's booked for September 11, so I'm sure I'll be back on here telling you how it goes. Excited!

Red Thai Curry

My nose is running this curry is so hot.

Made with hot peppers straight from my plant.

Whoooooo.

Psalm 17:8 - Keep Me As the Apple of Your Eye

I've been so caught up in the drama of my personal life (don't ask) that I haven't had a real moment to let the really good news settle in. Last night, I finally got the chance to sit down, forget the other stuff and get excited.

Everyone, welcome our new niece, Juliette Amelia Apple McFarlane, into the world!

Scott's brother and sister-in-law Pete and Rebekkah gave birth to little Juliette on 14th August. Big sister Audrey is apparently very fond of her little sis.

So that's four girls in the family! A family that had been almost entirely boy for generations! (Scott's sister was the first girl in 60 years. Then Fifi, Audrey, Lolly and Juliette were born with n'ere a boy in sight.)

So congratulations, guys. We're so happy for you.

The pile of dishes by the sink have been by the sink for, well, way too long. My excuse is the lack of hot water. It takes a while for the water to heat up, and Scott doesn't like the heat being on for hours while we're out, so the water isn't hot enough, and I can't wash them.

That's my excuse. My other excuse is I don't have time with the two kids. I'm ignoring the fact that both girls are asleep now, and I could be washing them now instead of watching One Tree Hill again.

Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe not. Who cares? Years from now, will it even matter? That is, assuming one of us doesn't die of some kind of fungus growing on the oatmeal pot. Maybe I'll accidentally discover the next penicillin.

How do you get time to write your thoughts when you can barely catch your breath?

Magic 8-Ball

Outlook Not So Good.

Ambiguous Inside

I'm happy with my life. I've got to say that first.

But these past couple of days have been so surreal. I look around me and wonder what has happened. How did I get here? A house that never looks tidy, no matter how much time I spend cleaning, two daughters who have somehow been entrusted in my care, work that I am solely responsible for completing in my own time....

And right now, this very instant, the one instant I sit down and try to think on paper (computer), all I'm getting is 'Mum! Mum! Fifi wants juice!' Yes, she speaks of herself in third person.

And Lolly's highchair is surrounded in the lunch I prepared for her, all over the floor.

And it's 15 minutes past noon, and I just managed to get out of my pajamas. Literally 5 minutes before 12. That is not like me.

And I've got clothes out on the line that keep getting wet because the sun comes out brightly, then the rain comes out of nowhere. And then the sun comes back out, and so I leave the clothes to maybe re-start drying. And then it will rain.

I've got to go get juice for Fifi. And the rest of Lolly's pitta sandwich.

But like I said, really, I am happy. Hearing Fifi repeat Dora speaking Spanish, well, that's just adorable. And if you could see Lolly right now in her little hoodie, you'd keel over from the sweetness.

Speaking of sweetness, I want sweeties. But I'm on a diet, so guess I'll just eat a handful of seeds or something.

(Can't tell if I'm really happy or not? Me neither. But I know I am. Just today, this week, who knows.)

Local Inverclyde News

I keep getting told off about not blogging. Really sorry, dudes, but I just don't have time! Who knew kids were so time-consuming?!

So in local news,

Lori got rear-ended and is getting her car written off. In the meantime, we're enjoying our snazzy courtesy car from the insurance company.

Inverclyde Breastfeeding Mums had it's Knit-A-Thon last weekend, and it was a real success.

TinyTalk Inverclyde is having a picnic in the park a week from Monday. I'm thinking I'll make it a Teddy Bears' Picnic for funnsies.

Scott, Lori and Lolly went to Callander last weekend for a night away. Fifi spent the night with Granny and Grandpa. We all had fun.

Scott gave Lori £130 worth of gift vouchers, £90 of which were for the craft store. I spent all £90 today in one fell swoop, and it was awesome. Gotta spend the other £40 on Amazon.

Lori has started a diet. It went great for the first day. The second and third have not been so great, but they were weekend days (if you count Friday as a weekend day), so that's gotta be a proper excuse. Lori needs to fit into her new black dress for Veronique's wedding in October.

Veronique and Scott are getting married. Congratulations, guys! (Not Lori's Scott. We ain't into that.)

Lori has a new job with the Breastfeeding Network. It's very exciting.

Mhairu has a new job with the Breastfeeding Network too. It's very exciting.

And that's all for local news. A few words from our sponsors, and then it's sports.

Technical Difficulties

I keep saying I'm going to write something good, and I really want to. The problem is finding the time.

Ok, yes, in the evenings, after Fifi is asleep and if I've managed to get Lolly asleep too, there is time. But that is my ONLY time, and in that time, I have SO MANY things I should do or want to do. My house is a mess, and I can't get on top of it. I'm tired and worn out and all I want to do at night after the kids are down is put my feet up and relax. So really, that's what I have been doing. When I can.

Last night I had to give a 'Goodnight Talk' at the church camp. I've never done this before, and though I talk publicly all the time, I was really nervous about this. Why? Because talking to a group of pre-teen girls is WAY harder than talking to health professionals, churchgoers or peers. I prepared a PowerPoint presentation using the week's theme of 'Heroes'. It wasn't a fancy presentation, but I spent a good bit of time on it, and it was my outline. So, naturally, of course, everything went wrong. First, I saved it as a .pptx instead of the old .ppt so the laptop at camp couldn't read the file. We discovered this moments before the meeting began. So a few other people brought in their laptops, and it worked on one of them. So when I got up to speak, a few camp leaders tried to set up the new laptop with the projector and, of course, couldn't get it to project. If I hadn't already been standing in front of thirty young girls, I probably could've gotten it to work, as I know how to do it, but I realised in the moment how I could easily lose this attention if I didn't take immediate action. So I just started. Without my presentation. Somehow I remembered everything and was able to describe all the pictures I'd wanted to show of my favourite superheros growing up (Rainbow Brite, Care Bears, Transformers, Ninja Turtles). I did the whole talk without the presentation. It was actually okay. I think it turned out well regardless.

So when I got home, I curled up on the couch (in a messy living room) with a bowl of ice cream (the kitchen was a mess too) and watched the first two episodes of One Tree Hill Season Two. :)

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You

I really do have ideas. Things I've been wanting to write about, hash out.

Soon, I'll have a couple of full-sized posts for you.

For now, check out my new blog: www.tinytalkinverclyde.blogspot.com

I'm nervous about making it public because that means I really do need to keep it up-to-date. So this is the first step. The second step is publicizing it to my clients/mums (they don't feel like 'clients'; they truly feel like friends!).

By the way, Fifi's obsession with Dora continues. And apparently so does mine. I had a dream the other night that a giant Diego was chasing me and trying to kill me.

Psychology majors: Go.

Sorry, It's Been A While

The best way to get you up-to-date is ennumeration-style.

1. Lolly has not turned down a single thing I've given her. She eats apple, pineapple, strawberry, nectarine, cucumber, tomato, melon, mango, toast and turkey. All finger-food, baby led weaning style. The only thing she found suspect was the pureed apple and pear from a jar!

2. Gypsies have taken up camp down the road. Police came by and warned us that gypsies were spotted roaming around our neighbourhood. Scary/creepy.

3. I cut and bleached my hair. It is SHOOORT and BLOOOONDE.

4. I have 4 pairs of trial glasses from glassesdirect.com. I'll post pictures later. They all look funny with my new hair.

5. Our organisation, Inverclyde Breastfeeding Mums, has a stall booked for the Gourock Garden Party this weekend. I'm excited. I hope we make some money!

6. Fifi is obsessed with Dora the Explorer. I sing Dora songs all day long.

7. I've developed an interest in gardening. In fact, I'm loving it. Outside I have 5 potted plants: lavender, orchids, 'twinkle stars' (Rhodohypoxis) and 2 other flowering plants I can't remember the name of. Indoors I have strawberries, hot peppers, yellow peppers, red peppers, carrots and a cactus. All I want now is either a lemon tree or a rose bush. Those depend on price though. A lemon tree is what I really want.

8. The weather until this week has been amazing. Extremely hot and sunny. Now the rain just seems twice as horrible. See my Flickr pictures for lovely weather pics.
5.

ToMAYto, ToMAHto

Lolly is 5 1/2 months old. I firmly believe in waiting until six months before introducing solid foods; however, Lolly has been reaching for food and salivating while I eat for a long time. Today, she was reaching for the food on my plate, and since I don't like tomato, I gave her the quartered tomato to play with, certain it would never make it into her mouth.

She grabbed it in her little fist... and positively devoured it. All that remained was the skin.

I guess she's ready!

(I still won't give her much for the next few weeks, but if she reaches for something healthy, I'll probably let her try.)

Job

I'm applying for a job as a 'Health Improvement Practitioner' in Infant Feeding within the NHS. This job has been rumoured for a very long time, and I always fantasised about applying for it, but now that it's a reality, I'm extremely torn. While I would LOVE this job and do a really good job at it, I am not ready to go back to work. Lolly is still a little baby, still exclusively breastfed, and I'm not ready to be separated from her. Plus, I don't even know that the job would be worth it financially after paying to put them into nursery or whatever. Even if only Fi went into nursery and I got someone personal to watch Lolly (and bring her to me during the day for feeding breaks), I still don't know if it would be worth it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more uneasy it makes me. But I've filled in the application and I will send it tomorrow and leave it at that. If anything, it's good practice to keep up with how to apply for a job. And if I get an interview, I'll take the interview and just see what happens. Interviewing is a good skill to keep up too, so it won't be effort wasted regardless of the outcome. If I'm actually offered the job, then I'll have to make a decision, but it may not ever even come to that...

Anyway, I'm really torn. Job I'd LOVE to have in a field I want to get into or stay home with my babies. I still think babies win.

Sun's Out To Play

It has been the most beautiful weekend ever. No really, probably EVER.

And the Scottish men around here have this thing, where, if the weather is nice, they all take off their shirts and walk around half-naked. I really don't need to see any more blindingly white gone sunburned bare chests. Really, it's ridiculous. You look silly, all of you.

The sun will go down tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar.

No Rabbits

Scott is sleeping with Fifi tonight, because she had a nightmare. We both heard her cry out in her room. Scott went to check on her, and she was cowering in the corner of her bed, wide-eyed and terrified.

We suspect she was dreaming about a rabbit, because she kept saying 'No rabbits in my room. No rabbits in my room.'

Poor baby. We promised her we'd keep the rabbits out.

On a Lighter Note

I don't want to see that stressed out post at the top of my page any more, so I'm lightening the mood by telling you about eBay and how awesome it is!

I always take my old clothes to the charity shop after doing a wardrobe clean-out, but this time I decided to take a long shot and post them on eBay. I can't believe it! Half of my stuff sold! Most of it sold for the starting price which was .99p each, but some things actually went for £5 or so!

Altogether, I sold about 7 items and made £17! I relisted the other 5 and am hoping for more success. And I'm totally off to photograph the rest of my bagged up clothes to list, as well as my back issues of Mslexia and some baby clothes.

What else do I want rid of, what else, what else...

Really Tired and Really Need Some Peace

Life keeps marching on.

I've been just SO BUSY lately. I guess I'm always busy, what with all the things I've either a) involved myself in or b) allowed myself to get involved in. I think my body is telling me to slow down, because I've been coming down with severe headaches and stomach cramps which are making me a Grumpy Mummy.

I don't like being a Grumpy Mummy. I want to a Fun Mummy. I want to see Fifi's antics as cute, not obnoxious. I mean, one day I'll miss the fact that she needs cuddles ALL THE TIME, right? When she's a teenager and slamming her door and telling me she hates me and I just don't understand, I'll long for the days when she clambered on top of me, spilling my tea and knocking over my laptop just to make sure every square inch of her body is in contact with mine. Right?

Lolly's been making life a bit hard too. The poor darling is teething, and she's also just at that stage before sitting up (and rolling and probably crawling), and I think she's just fed up. Plus, I think she's going into a separation anxiety phase because no matter how smiley she is, the second I walk out of view, she starts to wail and no one can console her. Scott hates that she won't settle for him, but it really is just a baby/mummy thing. I provide the grub, so of course she wants to know I'm still around!

So, yeah, I've been grumpy.

I've also kind of gone back into panic mode about a few things. Those of you who know me or have been reading my blog long enough know I have two extreme fears: spiders and kidnappers. Well, luckily I've not come into contact with any spiders recently (though with the eve of summer I am destined to start seeing them around again, awful things). And hopefully I've not come into contact with any kidnappers either, but two things have resparked my fear.

The first was being in Arkansas. My grandparents still live out where they've always lived, across the field from our old house. In that old house I developed my fear of kidnappers, but one instance in particular always comes rushing back to me when I drive down those old, deserted roads. I may have told this story on here before, but here it is again. When I was only six or so (or less), I had to take the long way to my grandparents house via the road because there were cows in the field. I hated taking the road, because I was afraid of kidnappers. Well this day, an old, beat-up car with a scraggly-looking man stopped and pulled over and rolled down his window. He called out to me (I was only a few feet from his car) and asked me where the 'gun store' was. Obviously I had no idea, being just a little girl, but I was terrified, yet I didn't want him to see I was terrified. I slowly backed away from his car and shook my head. I don't even know if any words came out as I tried to let him know I didn't know where the gun store was. Once I was far enough away from his car, I quickly took off in the opposite direction of which he was headed. He sat there a moment, then drove off. As soon as he was out of sight, I raced with all my power to the end of the road and down my grandparents gravel drive.

This terrified me as a little girl. Once I was in my teens, I decided I'd overreacted and the guy probably genuinely needed to find the gun store (which, by the way, there IS NO gun store anywhere in that vicinity. There is NOTHING in that vicinity except run-down trailers and meth dealers). Now, though, as an adult, I think exactly the opposite. As I drove down that road again a few weeks ago in America, I was gripped with the reality of what might have happened; basically, that no person in his right mind would stop a little girl on those streets to ask directions to anywhere, let alone a gun store, if he didn't have some kind of not nice intentions. The road to their house upsets me every time I drive it. I lock my doors and watch my girls closely in the rearview mirror. It chills me to the core. Even a month later, I can't get the feeling out of my bones. The What Ifs? What would my life have been if something HAD happened, if I hadn't run, if I weren't already so afraid of strangers? I hate it, and I can't get it out of my mind.

The second thing is a book I've just read. No, it wasn't another kidnapper story, like the one I read when I was pregnant with Fifi (I learned my lesson then about allowing that kind of thing into my mind), but it was about a missing child. The book is called The Search For Haley and tells the story of a little girl who got lost in the wilderness of the Northwest Arkansas Ozark Mountains. (She was found 3 days later alive and well.) I was okay reading it until I got to a part written by Colleen Nick, the mother of Morgan Nick, a little girl who was abducted from a baseball field in Arkansas. I've always gotten chills from the very name of Morgan Nick (again, Arkansas is just hitting too close to home, seeing as it IS home). But to actually read the words she had written, and how she compared Haley's missing to her own daughter's has revived all of this again. I lay in bed last night, tears streaming from my eyes, praying for Colleen, whatever she was feeling at that moment and praying on the fringe for Morgan. And I say praying on the fringe, because I can't even open up my heart and mind to imagine what to pray for. Scott, in his wonderful understanding, went and brought a sleeping Fifi into bed with us so I could have both my girls surrounding me the rest of the night. I prayed until I fell asleep that God would give Colleen a wave of peace and calm in the next moment she would need it and that he would give me that too so I could go on living my life in faith instead of fear.

That's the bottom line. This fear of mine PARALYZES me. It affects my ability to live normally. I don't want to pass this unhealthy fear onto my children, but I also don't want to live in constant fear that something will happen to either of MY children. A healthy, safe lifestyle is one thing, but the every moment looking over my shoulder, the cold sweats, the chills, the fear that grips me is ridiculous.

I don't mean that every moment of my life is spent fearing, but more of my life is spent fearing this than is necessary or right.

And yet, I have an overwhelming desire to hold Fifi close to me right now and apologise for being a cross mummy lately. I love her so much. I love Lolly so much. I want every day to be a day where they feel loved and special. Sadly, these past few days haven't been those kind of days.

Fifi and Lolly, I love you with all my heart. You are mine and your daddy's world. I'm sorry for being grumpy. I love you so much. No matter what you do, we will always be a family, and we'll always stick together. You are loved. You are special. You are mine.

Idle

Both girls are asleep on the couches. I should be making lunch and getting them ready to leave for my optometrist appointment.

I am messing about on the computer instead.

Tearing. Myself. Away.

Go. Make. Tuna sandwiches.

Oh yeah, I'm home.

Yeah, I suppose I should mention I got home safely, blah blah blah.

I'm right back in the big swing of things. TinyTalk classes start on Monday, along with Breastfeeding Awareness Week. Already feeling busy again. At least I've had a week to clean my house and get lots of little jobs done.

Today is a bit of a stressful day. A close friend of the family passed away, so Scott's got the car today so he can go to the funeral. He'll pick me and the girls up after for the reception later on. So we're stuck in the house, and I'm feeling pretty sad on top of that, and Fifi's being extremely toddlerish. Lolly's sleeping, and has been most of the morning, which helps a lot. Fi and I worked on her Garden Fairy costume for her friend Hannah's birthday party on Sunday. I hope my kids don't hate me for being the mum who makes all their costumes instead of buying the cool store-bought ones. I try to make them really cool, even cooler than store-bought ones, but you know kids. If you're the kid who brings hand-sliced cheese in your lunch box when everyone else has the pre-sliced cheese from the shop... well, that's your reputation DESTROYED.

I Know I'm In Arkansas When...

I can walk only 200 yards down the road and find a pasture full of donkeys.

I drive over a three-foot long snake in the road.

I pass a petrol ("gas") station advertising "Live Bait Sold Here!".

I see an auto dealer advertisement on television, promising to care so much for you he'd "wrassle a gator".

I get caught behind a pick-up truck on over-sized wheels, displaying the words "Slingin Taters" in air-brushed blue paint across the tail gate and a large plastic scrotum dangling from the fender.

... all in the same day.

My Dress

Behold The Dress.



This is the dress I made out of that kokeshi doll duvet cover. This is my first dress I've made for myself. It's one thing making children's clothes (if they are kinda screwed up, who cares?), but it's another to make a full-sized adult dress. I'm really proud of it. Look, I even lined it!



I was afraid it wouldn't fit, but as it turns out, it fits perfectly!





It's a little too cleavagy for my taste; however, coupled with a little camisole, it's just right.

Double Day

Posting twice in the same hour. Sorry.

Interesting article.

Kokeshi!

I am beyond delighted.

I collect kokeshi, Japanese wooden dolls. I used to talk about my kokeshi a lot, but since we've gone to one income, I've had to put my collection on hold, so I haven't bought myself a doll in a long time. But I still love them, love to look at them.



When I got pregnant with Fifi, I dreamed of a girly bedroom with a kokeshi theme. But I never could find any kokeshi fabric or anything else to decorate her room like that. So the only thing she had was this painting that I did, which she loved as a baby.



So imagine my surprise and utter delight when while walking through Tesco (Tesco!), I happened to spot, way down an aisle I wasn't even walking down, this duvet cover:



I couldn't believe my eyes! A kokeshi doll bed cover! And in all the colours of Fifi's room - dark pink, pale pink, lime green! And get this - it was reduced to £5!

As you can see, I bought one. No, that is not true. I did not buy one. I bought three. One for Fifi's bed, one for Lolly's future bed and one... for the fabric. I almost bought two for the fabric but decided three was plenty.

With my third, I am currently making myself a dress. :) I will post pictures when it is complete. Scott thinks it'll look crazy, and it probably will, but you can bet that as long as I don't screw it up and have made it the right measurements, I will be wearing that kokeshi dress proudly.

I'm just so so pleased.

Several Things

I'm sorry all my posts are so 'updatey' and not very thoughtful. I don't have time for thoughts these days.

So first off, let me say, you know you're a mother when the most exciting thing in your life is trying to find out what the mysterious spots your child and all her friends have are. We've ruled out chicken pox, measles, and hand, foot and mouth disease. The doctors are all simply calling it 'viral'. Boy, the number of texts circulating earlier this week.

Second, because Fifi has seen Lolly being carried around in the sling a lot lately, she's taken to stealing my sling out of my bag and trying to use it for her dolls. But it's too big for her, so her dolls fall out, which makes her go berserk, so I decided to make her her own. I took her to IKEA to pick out some fabric and made her this.

Third, I've been using my CrockPot a lot lately. I've made porridge many times overnight, set with a timer to make it ready for breakfast, along with a breakfast risotto and an egg custard, which I'm trying out just now. Not too bad for breakfast. Then, today I'm going to put on chili for dinner tonight. I've also made apple butter in it, which, if I do say so myself, is delicious. My CrockPot made three jars full.

Fourth and finally, I leave for the States in just three weeks. Within that three weeks, I have to finish organising and then run (with the help of the rest of the management committee, of course) our Inverclyde Breastfeeding Mums Annual General Meeting, coordinate and run the TinyTalk regional professional development day, celebrate my birthday (important!) and, of course, pack. I also need to shop for Scott so he's got simple things in the house to eat while I'm gone and shop for Fifi so she's got pre-packaged food items for the flight. I'm going to be extremely busy from here on out, but I love it.

Now I'm off to get my shower and get ready for the day. Don't know if I'll make this egg custard again, but it's pretty good nonetheless...

Daughters

Possibly my favourite picture ever.

Addicted to Shopping

I am psychologically unable to pop into Tesco and buy only what is on my list.

Today I 'popped in' for mop wipes and an avocado. Only. Determined that is all I would buy, I left the shop with this:

2 packs of mop wipes
2 avocados
A loaf of bread
A loaf of garlic bread
2 bags of okra (reduced to .99p each)
1 red pepper
2 bags of bagels (on special, 2 for £1.50)
BBQ chicken pieces
Pepperoni
2 packs of cocktail sausages (on special, 2 for £3)
3 pouches of Plum baby food (on special, 3 for £2, which was a savings of .97p. For 4 months down the line)
Frozen hash browns
Philadelphia cream cheese (for the bagels)
1 4-pack of D batteries (turns out I needed C)
2 tubs of spreadable butter (on special, half price)
2 tea towels (they had hearts on them and were reduced from Valentine's Day)
3 packs of flowery napkins (on special, .37p each)

It's an illness.

SingStar

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star- The Fifi Remix from superlori on Vimeo. and Dingle Dangle Scarecrow from superlori on Vimeo.

More About Lent While I Eat My Porridge and Attend My Daughter

In an effort to use my slow cooker more, I decided to try making porridge overnight ready for breakfast. Months ago I bought a timer to plug the cooker into for this purpose. Yet despite holding onto the instructions carefully, the day I decide to use it, the instructions are no where to be found. I've seen those instructions lying in the same place week after week, and yet now they are gone. So I tried to figure out the timer on my own. I woke up this morning hopeful, but all I found was a cold pot full of milk and oats. I just put it on the stove and made it the old fashioned way.

However, I got the timer down and started playing. I think I've figured it out now. I'll try it again in tonight.

Today is the start of Lent. I hope I can find time each day to reflect on Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cross. I hope I can find time (and energy) to contemplate what that means for me. One reason I'm sort of dreading this season is because I know how emotionally draining repentance is. I don't think I can face emotionally draining. I'm drained in every way as it is. So, then I wonder - does repentance always run along side weariness? If Jesus told us he would carry our yoke, our burdens, doesn't that mean we can lean on him in weakness, not fear him? I admit it, I fear brokenness. I fear what kind of emotional impact it could have on my life. I need as much bolstering up as possible during these years of toddler/babyhood. I need energy to run after Fifi when she makes a beeline for the street, when she suddenly needs to go potty NOW, when she's throwing a tantrum, when she's ill and needs lots of cuddles. I need energy for feeding Lolly around the clock, for picking her up when she cries, for changing her nappy again after having just changed it.

Yet, of course, I know intellectually that leaning on Christ is the only way to survive this. So why do I find it so daunting? Why am I so afraid that if I start going to him more, I'm going to find myself miserable and even more tired? Will I? Or will this season of Lent refresh me and my love for the Lord? That's what I want. I want to love him in a fresh new way. I want his sacrifice on the cross to move me again. I want to find the Spirit in everything I do and enjoy his presence.

But right now I must go get Lolly, who has just woken up from her night's sleep.

Lent and All

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. The last year or two I felt too busy to think much on Lent. That hasn't changed this year except I feel a real burden to do so. To repent of my busyness and lack of time spent with the Lord. I don't know how I'll do it. I don't know how a mother stays on top of everything earthly and material as well as things eternal. Is it just a matter of being near God, in His presence, or is there more? Should I wake up even earlier to pray and read Scripture? And if so, how do I do that without waking up the baby and then spending that time feeding her back to sleep? Even as I type this I'm having to deal with my two-year old repeat 'Mum' over and over while also whining for 'juice juice juice Iwanjuice Iwanjuice'.

My college friend Amber has a lovely blog, and this post sums up a lot of my feelings.

I can't even find time to finish this post. Scott just got home and needs his tea, and Fifi's got a dentist appointment in half an hour.

It's Ba-ack.

The sickness fog has once again come to rest upon our household. Fifi came into our bed at about 2am this morning complaining that her tummy hurt. I didn't take her that seriously, but let her sleep with us. Moments later she threw up. We cleaned her up, and Scott took her back to her own bed and stayed with her there. She threw up a few more times over night. Then this morning she threw up twice more. She still keeps saying her tummy hurts and asking us to 'kiss tummy better'. Poor thing. So for the third week in a row, we've missed church. Well, me and the girls anyway. Scott's there, since he does the music.

I hope this ends soon. I'm tired of pajama days.

Rare Quiet Moment

This is one of the moments that are few and far between: the only sound is the dishwasher running. Fifi is zonked out on the couch, and Lolly is zonked out in the swing. I need to get dinner started, but I'm touching base here first.

We are all better, finally. Sickness is over, for the most part. Fifi is finishing up her antibiotics, and my voice is nearly back to normal. (I'm convinced it took longer to come back after I lost it, because I had to run two baby signing classes while it was gone, and the singing seemed to destroy the old voicebox.)

Fifi has been wearing 'big girl pants' since Sunday. She's only had a few accidents, surprisingly. She has been in a nappy only for nap and bedtimes; saying that, however, she's in pants just now while she naps, so we'll see how she awakes. She's been out and about as usual in pants, and we've had no problems! She went to Toddlers on Tuesday, a creche on Wednesday, and Toddlers and the breastfeeding group today. I'm so, so proud of her.

We have also been making up for our lost Valentine's this week. Last night, Scott and I (with Lolly) went to Thai Siam for a delicious meal. Yesterday morning, I baked my heart-shaped cake (not the one I wanted to do), and I frosted it today. We'll have it tonight. Dinner is nothing special tonight, but I'm glad we got around to doing at least a small something for Valentine's. I'd have loved to do cookie bouquets or something for Fifi, but she'll just have to settle on a heart cake. I think she'll be fine with that.

And what else... There's not much else to share. I'm just really, really looking forward to travelling to Arkansas in a few weeks (seven, I think). And also thinking it's really weird that in about the same time, I'll be 27 years old. 27 sounds like that age right before you're too old. Right before 28. 28 just sounds too close to 30. I never pictured myself being 30. 27 is about as old as I think I'll allow myself to get. (Scott likes to point out that's when all the good rock stars die. Don't think I'm ready to die, though, so maybe I'll have to go older.)

Okay, off to make dinner, even though I'm so not hungry enough to eat it. Still not 100% back to normal yet, when it comes to appetite. The plus side is the weight loss from not wanting to eat!

My Favourite Day of the Year...

... began at the out-of-hours doctor's surgery with Fifi, where she was diagnosed with her first ear infection. Subsequent to that delightful excursion, I went grocery shopping and got Fifi's prescription filled. Scott and I ate hamburgers for lunch, which I couldn't taste, because, did I mention, Scott and I are sick too. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon in bed watching TV and napping with my sick children. Scott's now napping with Lolly, and I'm trying to humour Fifi by half-heartedly playing kitchen with her. So much for that cake I was going to make. Or for the delicious dinner I had planned. Or any other exciting Valentine's Day fun we may have had.

The Abridged Version

So many things to write about, so little time.

Here's the abrigded, annotated version.

1. Fifi's second birthday party was great. We held it at the church, where the kids had loads of room to go mad. Fifi loved the cake, especially the candles, which she tried to put her finger in. She is now two. My baby girl is two. I could cry.

2. I have totally gone all out with this bento box thing. See pictures here. I love putting these lunches together at night as one of my chores (see below for info on chores). I love thinking about what fresh fruit and tiny snacks to buy for the week. Scott told me to hold off buying too many accessories until I know for sure this obsession will last. I think it will. I'm constantly learning new tricks, and new dos and don'ts, for successful bentos. One don't I've learned - don't pack crispy things in the same tier (without a plastic divider) with juicy things. Yes, funnily enough, juice moves and makes crispy things soggy! Learning all the time.

So I've gone a bit mad with this obsession. On the way, somewhere in the international post, I have silicon cupcake cups, mini sauce bottles (shaped like tomatoes), two bento boxes, two bento box straps, a set of dividers and three bento box bags. eBay and Ichiban Kan are my new best friends.

3. My children are sick. Fifi's very unwell (high temps, throwing up, runny nose, etc) and Lolly just has a cold. I cannot get sick with them. And if I do, it needs to be between Tuesday and Thursday, since my TinyTalk classes are on Mondays and Fridays.

4. The snow is falling outside again, and it is lovely. I'm supposed to go to Scott's parents' house for dinner tonight and then to the grocery store, but I think it will hinge on the snow.

5. Fifi is doing really well with her potty training. Even sick, she's using it. She woke from her nap to ask me to change her nappy, poor thing. I just read The No-Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and I think I've got enough tools under my belt now to get really started. Oh my.

6. I've got tickets to America!! I fly out, with my two offspring, on the 5th of April, and return on the 30th. I do not pretend to know how I'm going to travel on my own with two children, and I certainly don't know how I'll travel with a newly potty trained/still training toddler, but I'm ignoring those minor details. I'll be in Arkansas for almost a whole month! So exciting! Mean Pig, Dixie Cafe, Taco Bell, Red Lobster, here I come! (Can you tell what it is I miss most about the States?)

7. My chore schedule from Motivated Moms is genuinely changing my life domestically. I've been using it religiously since the start of January. My house is now in a perpetual state of almost clean. Usually all that is needed to spruce it back up is a toy pick-up and a few dishes put in the dishwasher or handwashed. My enthusiasm has kinda sagged today and yesterday due to sick kids, but it's still in good order. And Sundays and Saturdays are restful days anyway, according to the schedule. And even yesterday I managed to dust Fifi's room, hoover (okay, Scott hoovered), and scrub the stove, along with the normal daily chores of laundry, dishes, etc. Today I've done very little besides lying in bed, cuddling and nursing sick children, but that's okay. It's the Sabbath. (Not really... Sabbaths are sundown Fridays to sundown Saturdays, but you know. Modern Christians don't have a clue anyway, so we just say Sunday as if we do.) Anyway, I can now feel comfortable just inviting someone over to the house on the spur of the moment without embarrassment. I can even leave the bedroom doors open, since the beds are always made and the laundry is usually somewhere within the normal range for a family of four! And the toilets! Usually clean! Please, come pee at my house.

8. Fifi got her first full haircut. She is cute as can be. She sat very still for the hairdresser. She looks like Ramona Quimby. I could eat her up.


Okay... I think that's all for now. Pretty good catch-up, don't you think? Valentine's Day plans on the way. I think I'm going to attempt this, if I can ever get the time.

Making It Easy - Potty Training

Warning: The following will only interest other parents. It may disturb others.

Let me just brag about my little two-year old. Without me even halfway encouraging it, Fifi is literally potty-training herself. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she started telling me every time she needs to potty. Then she proceeds to go in the potty. This morning, she carried her potty into the bathroom, took off her pajama pants, took off her nappy, sat down and went. Incredible! It's actually too soon for me, as it's nearly impossible to keep it up in public with a newborn. I mean, where do you put your baby when your toddler suddenly needs to go?

She's only had a few accidents in the past week. Most days we've come home from whatever we've done through the day, and Fi has taken off her nappy and gone nappyless the rest of the evening.

She is also now getting very upset when she needs to go, and she has to go in her nappy. She freaked out today in the car, because she had to go in her nappy. She also told me she needed to go about a mile from the house. I asked her to hold it, and when we got home, she used the potty! She held it!

This is just crazy to me. I'm so proud of her. I wonder at what point I should I start letting her wear 'big girl pants' outside the house?

You'll Laugh. You'll Cry. You'll Book Your Kid In For an Appointment.

Wow.

<

I'm impressed. And what do you think of this?

Sorry

Heya. Sorry it's been so long since I've been on here. I think a lot about blogging and what I could talk about, but I never have the time to see it through. I'm busy all day long with the kids, and then Scott hogs the computer at night. So quickly, a list of things I've been meaning to blog about:

My new clean house.



My photo shoot.



My growing bento knowledge (garnered from many a bento mistake).



Fifi's 2nd birthday.



And Fifi's potty training. Bleh.

Eventually. Eventually.

My Second Bentos

My daughter and my husband enjoyed their bentos today. However, both of them left one thing - the celery. Tsk tsk. If it's green, they won't touch the stuff.

Here are the pictures of tomorrow's lunches. I'm still getting the hang of this, so they don't look just right, but I'll learn. I need to find new colours, so they look more appetizing and pretty.


Fifi's Top Tier: apricots, grapes, blueberries, mandarin and a white chocolate ball (handmade by her Auntie Katie!)
Bottom Tier: jaffa cakes, celery with peanut butter, cheese, pretzels and sausages.


Scott's Top Tier: rice and chicken madras (leftover from dinner tonight)
Bottom Tier: mandarin, grapes, monkey nuts and naan bread.

The boxes are microwavable, in case you're wondering. Scott was.

I can't wait to get mine in the post. I've got ideas for more bentos, which I'll put into action next week. Think star-shaped sandwiches, mini-steak pies, mini-quiches, teeny-tiny homemade chocolate chip cookies... I'll have my mom's help next week too BECAUSE SHE ARRIVES ON SUNDAY!!

My First Bentos

I got Scott and Fifi bento boxes for Christmas. Scott goes back to work today, so I decided it was time to get started.

I'm new at this so it probably took me longer to fill these boxes than is average. I bought loads of small bento-sized foods this week and have lots of ideas, but the boxes really are very small, so some things didn't fit like I thought they would.

I'm also new to the asthetic side of bentos. Fifi's looks better than Scott's, but then again, I don't think Scott wants 'cute' lunches. His mates would probably taunt him mercilessly if I were to cutesy it up too much.

Here's Fifi's first bento lunch:



Top tier - pancake stars, grapes, blueberries and apricots
Bottom tier - sausages, celery, carrots and cheese



And Scott's first bento lunch:



Top tier - carrots, celery, naan bread and sausages
Bottom tier - pancakes, blueberries, monkey nuts and apricots
In tub - BBQ sauce for sausages



I realised though that I really need one for myself. It's all well and good feeding my family, but if I don't feed myself, I'm not feeding Lolly either. So Scott graciously bought me my own bento from eBay.



I think it's very cute.

Will hopefully keep this up. And post more pictures.

But for those of you who don't care about bento-related topics, here are some pictures of my princesses. (Lolly doesn't feature in them as much as Fifi. Sorry. Will remedy that soon.)

Domestic Goddess....

You know what's changing my domestic life?

Motivated Moms.

This chore planner is the best thing I've ever come across in the chore-planning world. When I've tried to make my own planners, or when I've used a ready-made one, I find that the daily projects are too big - like 'clean kitchen' or 'clean bathrooms'. Those kind of jobs take a block of time to do and therefore never get done. But the Motivated Moms chore planner is brilliant. The daily jobs are jobs that just need to be done daily, but if you don't get around to them, it's not the end of the world. But they're mostly things you can do in a jiffy, like wipe bathroom sinks. That takes no longer than a minute, and I can do it after washing my hands after using the loo! Then each day of the week has a few odd jobs to do, like 'clean the middle shelf of the refrigerator' or 'water indoor plants'. Things I can totally do! And things I'd never get done if I'd had the job 'clean kitchen' in front of me.

I feel like bit by bit my house is getting clean. It's not always tidy, but when you look at my stove, it's been scrubbed! Inside my fridge is getting spotless! My kitchen sink is nearly always empty now!

The best thing about this checklist is that it has tick boxes. You get to tick off the jobs as you do them. I love ticking boxes, and I hate seeing boxes unticked, which motivates me to get more done. But there's no guilt when some of the jobs are left undone, because you know that job will creep back up in a week or two. I feel so... motivated! I'm on the third week of the calendar. I feel like this one might last.

It's $8 to buy the planner for the year, which comes to about £4 or £5. No biggie. Especially not for how good it's making me feel.

Also making me feel good about my house are the essential oils I purchased (www.justessentialoils.co.uk) and have been using in the laundry. My house smells like eucalyptus currently and will probably smell like tea tree when I put the load of nappies up to dry. Mmm. I put some grapefruit in my bath this morning too and that helped wake me right up from my slumber state. I think I'll use a drop in my iron too. I wonder if Scott would be opposed to smelling like ginger at work?

Getting On With It.

The past couple of days have been slightly better. I'm still finding it hard, and that's with Scott still home, but we'll get there. According to everyone else anyway.

I don't have much to update on. I'm sort of just going one day at a time. Not doing much really. Tomorrow is Fifi's friend Cillian's birthday party. That should be a good time. Fi tends to be very well-behaved around others. It's just when we are on our own she decides to go crazy!

I took Lolly shopping today. I've been trying to find something nice to buy myself to wear while I work off this baby weight but have had a hard time. I finally found a pair of non-maternity jeans in a real shop (not Primark) for £7. They look really good on me. The down side? They are 3 sizes bigger than I wore before I got pregnant. Scott keeps reminding me that's normal, but I really had to psyche myself out to buy them. At least they look good. And don't have elastic panels.

As usual though, I found more things for the girls than for myself. Fifi is sporting her new pajamas as we speak. She needed some long-legged pjs to keep her warm and tops that weren't covered in weetabix stains.

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know I'm doing okay. Or at least I will do okay.

Oh, by the way, am I the only one who thinks the Edinburgh Post-Natal Depression Scale is kinda a load of crap? Not that I've got PND, but if I did, would the EPDS actually reveal it?

2's a crowd...

I am not coping very well with two kids.