Toddler-Baby

I'm just squeezing this post in before waking Scott for work.

Last night was a very bittersweet night. It was the last night of night feeding Fifi.

After 16 months of night nursing, I've come to the point where I've simply had enough. I love nursing, and I'm in no way ready to wean all together. But I'm now at the point where if I'm going to continue nursing, something's gotta give. That something, I decided, had to be nights. It all came to a head the other morning when I felt she'd been feeding all night long and at 5am she woke again for a feed. I burst into exhausted tears and started shouting at her to stop crying and that 'I can't do this anymore!' I realised then I had come to a breaking point and had to make some kind of decision in order to maintain my sanity. So night weaning it is.

We begin tonight. Scott will take the bulk of the night cuddling (and crying), while I hide in another room, and probably cry myself. Each time Fifi fed last night, I refrained from feeling agitated, as I reminded myself this was it. Instead, I kissed her lots and whispered I Love Yous over and over.

My little toddler-baby is turning into a toddler-kid. It makes me feel very sad.