The Day My Brain Puked

So I woke up bright and early on Saturday, full of vigour and raring to go. I threw on some clothes, put my hair in a ponytail and hit the shops by 9.00. Shopping on Saturday morning is great, if you can get there before the masses. 9.00 is definitely before the masses. I easily found a parking spot at Tesco where I would buy groceries for the week (grocery list and all! Planned meals written on the side!). I also needed to go into the town centre for some other shopping, though, which I decided to do first, since I wasn't sure how long it would take and didn't want any food to spoil in the car. So I wandered around WHSmith and Woolworth's, hoping to find a box set of Scrubs, any season. I had no luck, but I did find seasons 1 and 2 of That 70's Show for half-off, so I took them both (totalling £26!) to the checkout.

Brain Puke #1. My debit card was missing.

I searched frantically through all the slots in my purse, and then my handbag, hoping I'd just placed it somewhere stupid, but it was not to be found before the guy asked for payment. Red-faced I had to admit I'd lost my card and wouldn't be able to pay. He offered to hold them for me for the day in case I found it. I thanked him and promptly left the store, feeling like a little criminal. (Why a criminal? I don't know, but if you've been there, you may recognise the feeling.)

I got back in my car, re-searched my bag, but the card was nowhere. So at 9.45 I had to drive back to my house, hoping and praying the card was some trouser pockets or my coat.

It was in neither. After Scott gave me a small row about responsibility (in all fairness, he was quite nice about it. I deserved worse.), we called up the bank and cancelled my card. Scott then graciously gave me his, and I went back into town.

Luckily, by around 10.30, though the parking lot was much more crowded, I still found a spot quite quickly. I went back to Woolworth's, bought my DVDs (shamefacedly, of course, and with cash because I didn't want the guy to ask if I'd found my card and I'd have to lie and say yes and then if he looked at the card, he's see Scott's name and know I was a liar, and basically I hate lying, so cash), then headed off to start my grocery shopping.

I stuck to my list to the letter. I think I only bought one thing that wasn't on it, and that was toilet paper. I was proud of myself. I pushed the cart out to my car and started filling it with bags of carrots, potatoes and broccoli. But my stupid handbag kept slipping off my shoulders every time I leaned in to set down a bag. So I threw it onto the driver's seat and finished my unloading.

Brain Puke #2. I locked the passenger side door and slammed it shut. Mid-slam I realised.

'NO!' I shouted out loud. I then fell back against the car and covered my face. 'Do. Not. Cry.' I told myself. 'Think. Logically.' Ok, I could call a cab and go home and get Scott's keys. But my phone is locked in the car. Ok, I could use a payphone. But my money is locked in the car. Ok, I will walk to my in-laws house and get a lift home. But what if they aren't home? Well, then, if they aren't home, I'll sit on the steps and cry. So off I trudged.

Luckily, their house is a very walkable distance from Tesco. I rang the doorbell, my heart pounding and the tears welling up in my eyes. Nothing. I rang the doorbell again. Nothing. Time to sit on the stairs and commence crying. I sat down, the tears started flowing... and the door opened. My father-in-law stood there in a bathrobe.

Well, at this point, I lost it. What a stupid day I was having! Andy made me a cup of tea, and I called Scott, half-crying, half-laughing. You see, through all this, I could still see the humour. I mean, how totally stereotypically pregnant was I being? Forgetful, distracted, losing things, crying uncontrollably, laughing while crying. Andy left me to my tea (and Marion arrived to keep me company) and went to go get Scott and his keys to go get my car from the Tesco parking lot.

I felt, with all my stupidity, it would be best to then just stay in the rest of the day and watch That 70's Show. And that's precisely what I did.