A List

(That would be 'A' in the sense that 'a' is an article, not a descriptive adjective.)

('List' is, of course, used in the noun form as opposed to the verb.)

I wrote a really depressing post today at work, but I decided not to post it, because I'm tired of how depressed I am all the time, and I'm sure you are too.

So, a post in the form of a list.

******Warning: Much Grammar Talk Insuing For Next Four Points******

1. Why is it that in American grammar we always put a comma before the word 'too'? For example: I love cake, and Lucy does, too. I can't come up with a single grammatical rule that would cause that to be the case, and it appears that it is not the case here in Britain.

2. I purchased Fowler's Modern English Usage in order to follow the British rules in grammar. You will inevitably see these new rules pop up even more in my blog writing in order for it to become second nature to me. I am tired of getting marks all over my work newsletters with British grammar corrections. I'm a bloody excellent grammarian, and I refuse to get red-inked all the time. Also, this book will validate any corrections that are incorrect, of which there are many. For instance, I am tired of people telling me there is no comma before 'and' in a complex sentence. Two independent clauses joined by the word 'and' does have a comma before it, and I will listen to no arguments. (For example: I like to walk in the park, and Jim likes to ride his bike. Or in more complex cases which garner the most resistance: Jeremy Aiken and Patty MacArthur have won their sections in the regional swimming competition at Whitehall Pool which took place in March, and they will now go on to the national finals held in Essex in May.)

3. One of the deputy rectors at the school saw my copy of Writing Good Sentences lying on my desk this morning (which has been my back-up prove-all until the Britishness of Britain finally made me fold and purchase Fowler's), and she was elated. She and I talked grammar for a few minutes excitedly. She was very interested in the book, and then claimed to be the founding member of the 'Preservation of the Semi-Colon Foundation'. I am her newest member. 'Mon the semi-colon!

4. By the way, speaking of Claude Faulkner, where on earth did I get the idea that Claude was William Faulkner's brother?

*****Grammar Talk Ends Here*****

5. Remedios peed on our bed. Little bitch.

6. The cats LOVE the hard wood floors. They are now an official nightmare.

7. I picked this rug for our bedroom. How heartbreakingly sweet is that?

8. I have officially stopped driving. My American license has 'expired' (according to British law) which means I am now uninsured and unlicensed. I've actually been this way since October, but I've been blagging it. But after my tire blow-out on the motorway, I've realised just how stupid I've been. So I'm now following the law. All my freedom has been stripped away from me. No quick trips to the store for milk, no picking Scott up from the pub (he's having to get a cab tonight because of this), no visiting friends. Heck, it's not much worse than jail. Maybe I'll keep driving after all.

9. I went running on Thursday during my lunch break with Carol. She's a far better athlete than me (she's actually an 'athlete'; I'm just a person who is running), but it was a good time. We went about two and a half miles. She ran all of it (running away from me then back several times), and I think I ran about two-fifths* of it. I'd like to say it was half, but I wouldn't be fooling anyone. At any rate, two-fifths is a heckuvalot of running when you're talking two and a half miles. My legs are now stiff as rubber tires.

*In the original post, I said 'three-fifths' instead of two-fifths. But um, three-fifths is OVER half. I meant to explain I ran just UNDER half. Dyscalculia, I'm telling you, really, because it took me AGES to decide what was just under half, too, and I still came up with three-fifths.

10. I've been really good with my Special K Drop a Jeans Size challenge, too. I'm halfway through, and I can already tell my trousers are fitting looser. My tummy isn't so impregnated-looking, either. I like Special K. Especially the peach and apricot one.


And there you have it, folks. An UNdepressed post. I'll leave my homesickness out of it. (But please let me just say I miss America oh-so-much right now, and I cannot, simply cannot, wait to see Devon get married in March. I love you, Dev!)