I've told Scott to post, but he hasn't done it.

What a week.

Friday I was the only person at work, there mainly to answer the phone. (It was a local holiday.) I had to sit in the General Office, so I was at someone else's desk. The internet was down. The tea kettle was broken. I was bored to tears. The guy who's computer I was on didn't even have any personal documents on his computer for me to illicitly browse. The day went by, not a single phone call. I mean, what was the point of me being there? I got about half of Love in the Time of Cholera read on Friday. At about 15 minutes to the time I was to leave, said guy who's computer I was using called the janitor's mobile to tell him that he forgot to tell me I had to push a button on the phone in order to get calls through.

Scott and I bought Scott's suit today for the wedding we are going to in just a week in Canada. Scott was as tense as a puppy in a car. We walked into the mens store, and he sternly warned him to leave him be while he looked around. He proceeded to be a total nervous-butt the entire time. He finally told me I could start looking around with him, but everytime I suggested something, he got tense with me again. The man hates to shop. Finally he had the good sense to allow a salesman to help him, and me and Scott's mum took off to look at cuff-links. Scott chose a very nice single-breasted black suit. He looks like a movie star in it. I was gushing (from far off, of course, so as not to frustrate him).

My brother-in-law Pete is coming back from America on Wednesday.

I'm homesick. Still.

Ingrid and David are getting married in about an hour. Which is weird because it's almost midnight here. While Scott and I sleep soundly, they'll be reciting their nuptials. They'll be partying. Time differences are disturbing.

We have Monday off. Bank holiday. Hurray for Scotland and bank holidays.

We saw The Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy. It's bizarre and fun. I recommend.

We went to rent Return of the Jedi tonight to finish our Star Wars marathon, but it was hired out. Then we found DVDs for sale for £2.96 so we bought three: Donnie Darko, Being John Malcavich and the original Alfie. What a deal.

I made tacos for dinner.

Scott and I are really and truly in love.

Life is generally good.

The Age-Old Question

Travis wanted to know, and now I do, too: "Why does it always rain on me?"

Actually, both of us are ridiculous for asking; the reason is clear. We live in Scotland.

The rain is seriously depressing. I need the sun to shine down rays of happiness on me. I need my vitamin D.

I'm so down in the dumps I don't want to write anything here. I just want to leave work, curl up in my bed with a good book, and mope. I need a cuddle from my hubby.

Canada in two weeks. Can I wait that long? Will I survive the rain until then? How on earth did I make it through the winter? The rain is horrible.

[/ complaint]

Unbelievable Cheek Awards

Thanks to everyone who has sent in a nomination. It's coming up to the end of the competition. Unfortunately the number of entries is few, meaning I will have to add a few of my own. Which incriminates me significantly. If you know anyone with unbelievable cheek, just write me a quick email telling a story to illustrate.

For you Americans who perhaps have shied away from responding out of uncertainty as to the exact meaning of "cheek" let me try to explain. (Other British nationals feel free to comment with further explanation.)

cheeky: Impertinently bold; impudent and saucy.
offensively bold; "a brash newcomer disputed the age-old rules for admission to the club"; "a nervy thing to say"(www.dictionary.com)
A cheeky person has a lot of "gall" or "audacity". Sometimes they are just flat out mischievous, in an unbelievable way.
Sometimes cheek manifests itself as sarcasm. Not your typical US sarcasm, but, well, cheeky sarcasm. The kind that makes you wrinkle up your face and think, "That was so unnecessary."
Sometimes it's just doing things that are unthinkable. I like what dictionary.com had to say: "a nervy thing to say". Nice example. Nervy.

So. Do you know someone who really just had a lot of nerve? The audacity to do something? The gall? It could've actually been so nervy it was funny? Then enter it into the contest!!!


The results of the contest will be posted for votes at the end of the week. All names will be changed by myself, but you can feel free to change them in your entry as well. After the nominations have been posted, feel free to vote for as many entries as you like!

If you don't enter into contests like this, I might start doing disgusting ones like "World's Greatest Boyfriend" or something. And no one wants to read that crap.


Email your nomination now.

P.S. It just occurred to me that perhaps some of you may be thinking that I am unbelievably cheeky. Well, I've got thick enough skin. Enter that, too. All entries will be posted for voting. Unless, of course, they involve, like, porn or something. In which case I highly doubt they would be about me...

This weekend has been really lovely. But come to think of it, I can't remember why. It's just been good.

Friday after work, Scott, Graeme, Austrailian Sarah and I went to see Episode III. I'm not gonna ruin it for anyone by saying much, except WOW. Why couldn't the first two have been like that? I just have two words for you= live stormtroopers. Actually I have three more= No JarJar Binks.

Saturday (yesterday) I got up early to drive Scott to work then came home and tackled the house. I've been so overwhelmed lately by how incredibly messy my house always is. So yesterday I did some massive cleaing. And let me tell you, the new dishwasher makes a world of difference! I picked Scott up for lunch, and we had a picnic outside (the weather was lovely yesterday, to my excitement.) I then took Scott's gran and mum shopping and afterwards came home and took a nap with my hubby. I made Thai red curry last night, which made me miss my old roommates Amanda and Ingrid, but the curry itself left much to be desired. Word of advice: don't try to sneak parsnips into curry thinking you will fool your husband into eating his vegetables. It tastes terrible. We then spent the rest of the evening lazing about, and I started reading Pinnochio.

We went to church this morning (though, admittedly, we slept through the first service), and afterwards Scott headed off for band practice while I came home and took a nap. I am now enjoying a delicious frozen pizza and listening to the old Gorillaz album. Gotta get the new one, by the way. Today is the day that decides who wins the Premierleague something or other in football--Celtic or Rangers. Mon the 'Gers!

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention--Friday when Scott picked me up from the train station, he handed me a present. He'd gotten me a pair of pretty little pink earrings! I smiled huge for ages. Nothing better than a surprise gift....

EXCEPT SCOTT JUST TOLD ME RANGERS WON THE TITLE!!!!! RAWK!!!!

I'd like to place a Collect call, please....

I used to say that I wish we as humans were allowed three toll-free phone calls a year to ask God anything we wanted. We'd have to be careful to choose our questions wisely as you'd only get three. And of course God would have the sovereign right to either answer or not answer our questions so if we were to ask them, we'd be wise to not ask questions like, "When will the rapture occur?" because we already know He isn't going to answer that.

If we really had these hypothetical toll-free questions (which of course we don't and its completely ridiculous really to wish for it), today I think I'd ask God, "What is Hebrews 6 talking about?"

It's the same ol' argument as always over at CGR Theology, whether or not all saints will persevere to the end or if some may be able to reject their salvation (the former being a doctrine popularly known as "once saved always saved" but among the Reformed labeled "perseverence of the saints" due to the confusing connotations to the OSAS concept). I am convinced by the vast Biblical witness that God's grace not only saves us but keeps us eternally. Scripture after Scripture supports this, as does basic reasoning (afterall, if we can do nothing to earn our salvation, what could we possibly do to reject it? Is any aspect of our salvation dependent upon us at all? I'd answer with a resounding No.) But Hebrews 6 throws me for a loop. Many alternate interpretations exist which would cause this particular passage to remain consistent with all other Scriptures. But today, if I had the option of a toll-free call to God, I'd ask Him to explain this passage. It's very mind-boggling.

Or maybe I'd just get straight to the heart of the matter and ask if it is possible for one who has been regenerated to ever leave the fold of God. (Again, I cannot see how. When a sheep goes astray, doesn't the shepherd leave the entire flock to go redeem his one renegade?)

This is my thought for the day. Pretty irrelevant to anyone reading who doesn't believe in Christianity at all, but extremely relevant to those who do.



By the way, I'm gonna steal an idea off of an internet friend (whom we invited to our wedding, but who did NOT attend *wink) Nate a.k.a. Than. If you are a lurker (particularly a consistent lurker) leave a comment and make your presence known! I gathered up my guts and left a comment on Nate's blog, revealing my presence. I now ask our lurkers to do the same. If any lurkers even exist anyway. *Prepares to be disappointed by the vast lack of interest in our humble second-to-last house in Greenock.*

My Favourite Paragraph

... in the school newsletter for this term. I hope they let me keep it in. I hope they don't notice the irony. (Chances are, they won't.)

MOCK ELECTIONS
Labour may have won in the National Election, but the Conservatives triumphed by a landslide in the mock election that took place at the Senior School a week before Election Day. Conservatives received 45% of the votes, followed by the SSP and the Green Party with 16% and 14% of the votes, respectively. The Liberal Democrat, Labour and Independent parties followed.


If you don't find this funny, it's because you've never been to a rich private school.

Coolness in the McF House

Hot diggity dog, we are getting a dishwasher today. £45 in the newspaper, thinline, works great; the McF 'rents not only bought it for us, they're installing it, too. Awesomeness. Total awesomeness.

Friday night, going to see Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. We've been totally excited about this since Scott bought the Star Wars Lego game. Can't wait, can't wait.

I've got my marshmellow creme (yeah, only sold in the Renfrew Tesco, thanks Debbie), got my evaporated milk, got my chocolate chips--it's fudge time.



Scott. Always means coolness in the McF House.

Quality Time

Scott and I wanted to do something different tonight from what we always do (ie watch movies) so we painted self portraits.



Then we played Halo 2, and Scott practiced his sniper skills on me. But I kicked his butt one or two times, or one.

Nurse for the Day

Practically the entire staff is off today for some reason or another, and the last five of us are left to take care of everything. I've been made "School Secretary" today, taking care of absentees and children signing in as well as teachers needing various letters, etc. But the big thing is I've been made nurse when the nurse isn't about. She was away this morning for a funeral and now this afternoon she's nowhere to be found. I've dealt with dizzy children, busted fingernails, sprained wrists, jammed fingers, and a bloody lip. And by dealt with I mean stood there and looked sympathetic. I tried to apply a plaster (band-aid) to the boy with the busted nail (which looked bloody awful, yes, pun) but I couldn't find the appropriate sized/shaped plaster so I applied a rather large square one to his poor finger, probably causing more pain than he originally felt but all the while talking sympathetically and lovingly and apologising for not being very nurse-like. I ordered the dizzy girl to lie down on one of the beds for a while and suggested that the girl with the busted lip rinse her mouth out with cold water to clean it and numb it and hopefully stop the bleeding. I found ice packs and wrapped them up in paper towels and administered them to the jammed finger and sprained wrist after first verifying they weren't broken. And by verify I mean ask if they think it's broken and comment that it didn't look very swollen and tell them to come back in a little while to see if the nurse had returned.

And to be fair, another teacher was helping me when the sprains and jams came in and did most of the "verifying".

I've asked to be registered for the First Aid Certification that the school does in September.

And I really want to be a teacher.

Smoking In People's Faces is Gross and Rude

1. At the Partick train station today, a nice looking girl approached the end of the bench upon which I was sitting. I politely moved over so she could have room to sit. She sat, and moments later I inhaled a large gulp of cigarette smoke. I turned to the direction from whence the waft came and saw the girl smoking non-chalantly less than a foot away from me in an enclosed (very small, too) area. I was disgusted, so I left the bench area and stood in the cold instead to wait for my train.

I know a lot of smokers read my blog, so I do not mean to offend. But if you are going to light up a cigarette in a public waiting area where people are not milling about and walking right past you but rather are stuck in the same area as you, be polite with your smoking. Step away from the general crowd to light up. I hate breathing other people's bad habits.

2. Some days I think that my job at the HSOG really sucks, but then people give me fun jobs, and I think it must be the greatest job in the world! This is what I get to do besides just writing and laying out the school newsletter...





(See descriptions of each here. Thanks Picture Trail for letting me post pics online while at work and unable to post to my own site...)

HOW MUCH FREAKIN FUN DO I HAVE?!

3. With the mum-in-law back from Aussieland I've been forced back into my weekly routine of Callenetics on a Wednesday night. As much as I hate it, it feels so good to be working my bod out. That every week ought to have me lookin' summer-licious in no time. Watch out, thighs, bikini season is fast approachin'!

4. Two annoying things yesterday: I came home and called the IRS to find out Where in the World is Carmen Tax Refund? and after listening to hold music interrupted every minute by a bored sounding woman telling me "Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us. Please do not hang up now and call again as this may increase your wait time, as your call is answered in the order in which it is received. The next available representive will be with you." for 25 minutes, a lady named Claudia told me they had not even received my return. In a panic, I asked to be transferred to the ITIN department, which is where I sent the return because they had to first simulate a fake Social Security (ITIN) number for Scott before processing my return. I was transferred and waited another 35 minutes before a man named Sadiq told me that he was unable to disclose any information regarding Scott's ITIN application as it is his personal application, and I do not have proper permission to access. Scott was out last night, therefore unable to give permission, so that was that, meaning I spent an hour waiting on hold for absolutely nothing. I have to call again tonight and have Scott say, "Yes, Lori can discuss her own tax refund with you."

Then (oh yes, it gets worse) as I was heading out the door, I checked the mail and saw that my application for a provisional driver's license from the DVLA complete with all legal documents (which were NOT sent registered mail as I had requested, extra postage and all) had been returned with a note saying, "We are unable to process your application. We need further proof of identity. Please send us your passport." Ha! A) The DVLA pamphlet says you do not have to send a passport and furthermore B) it said DON'T send in your passport if you will be travelling in the near future. GAH! I'll be travelling all summer, am I supposed to wait until August to apply for my f'ing PROVISIONAL? Geez, this country is terrified of frauds.

5. If you just read #4 you are probably asleep, and if you skimmed over it, you are probably hoping for a better ending. You won't get one. That's me done. Off to "lunch", i.e. an hour of waiting on hold with the DVLA.

UPDATE: DVLA will not budge on their insistence that I send in my passport. They will not arrange for my passport to be sent back to me in any kind of timely fashion and they will not accept any certified copies, which means I will not be re-applying for my provisional again until August at the earliest. Stupid goverment jerks, I don't care what happens, I am NOT putting a stinkin' L plate on my car. I am NOT a learner. (And while you're at it, Government, you can stuff your extortionate taxes where one always requests something to be stuffed, and start letting me actually take home a portion of the money that I commute an hour and half everyday to make.)

A Quick Post Before Work

Fact for the day: you know the way your fingers go all weird when you stay in the bath too long? Did you know that if you stay in there for roughly an hour and a half your toes do the same? And to an extent, your lips?

There are some advantages of having to get up early to take your wife to the train. Long baths.

Off to work for me, which will be profoundly less relaxing than this morning.

Writing P&W Songs? Me?

I've never done this before, never even attempted it. I've tried to write some poetry with a Christain slant, but I'm such a poetry snob, and yet so concerned with being 1000% true to the Word of God, that I got nowhere. I found it hard to be poetically inventive while trying to stick to the facts. I know it's possible, but I gave up quickly.

Writing worship songs would be easier, I think, because I'm not a music snob, and Praise and Worship songs should be 1000% true to the Word of God. But I don't write music, so I've never attempted this.

Until today.

I have a husband now who can play and write music. I am a writer with a penchant for words. Doesn't this mean that the two of us working together could write P&W?

I took a Psalm today that was very special to me during a period of time at college which I refer to as the Dark Ages. I don't remember a good block of time my sophomore year--all I remember was a time of darkness. I got sick that semester for about a week, and that is why I remember it as dark; the lights were out and the blinds shut all week so I could sleep. It was in this week (maybe longer, since I can't remember this whole block of time hardly at all) that I spend countless hours weeping and questioning the point of my faith and crying out to God for myself and for others and searching the Scriptures for help... and I came across several Psalms that spoke right into my heart. Psalm 13 was one of them:

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
[NIV](I usually prefer the ESV but I didn't notice which translation I was using until after I finished.)

So anyway. Today I attempted to write out a P&W song after this passage. I'm being very vulnerable here in posting it, since as I've said, I have never done this before, and I'm not terribly confident. It has no music yet, of course, but perhaps if it passes the first test of Biblical accuracy and the second test of lyrical fluity, then music will be added.

Those are the two systems by which I ask you to critique this song: Accuracy and Fluity.

*Heavy Sigh....*

Go. [ blush]


PSALM 13

VERSE 1:
How long, oh Lord, will You forget me?
Will You forget me forever?
How long, oh Lord, will You hide from me?
Will Your face be hid forever?

BRIDGE:
Look on me and answer!
You are the Lord my God.
Give light to my unseeing eyes
Or I will surely die.

CHORUS:
In your unfailing love
I pledge my soul to trust;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
You have been good to me!
Unto the Lord I sing.
My heart rejoices in your salvation.

VERSE 2:
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?
My thoughts are hard and heavy.
How long must sorrow fill my heart?
Every day my heart is heavy.

BRIDGE
CHORUS


[ /blush]


If you don't like this one, maybe you'll like my other one:

CHORUS:
You're good, You're cool, You're awesome,
Oh yeah. (repeat 3x)

BRIDGE:
Oh yeah, oh yeah,
You're cool and awesome and good.

1. According to the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, I am overweight. Pigs. They didn't even ask if I was male or female. Certainly that matters. Females are supposed to have more body fat--it's called childbirth.

Anyway, I've been thinking of going back on WeightWatchers. I don't think I'm overweight, but I do have a tummy that I'd like to crunch back into submission. And Scott and I want to live long and have healthy babies, and ok, so we watched Supersize Me last night, and it makes everyone think about dieting. Scott and I don't eat fast food hardly ever (and if we do, it's KFC all the way, where they actually tear apart real chickens. Oh, and Pizza Hut, but let's not count that as fast...) Anyway, its worth it to learn to eat healthy and come to enjoy the taste of boring. I've learned to like weetabix--without the sugar. I can learn to like anything.

2. I'm still feeling a bit homesick, so thanks to those of you who shared your sympathy. As pathetic as it sounds, thanks Chris especially for making me feel missed. :) When I listen to Aqueduct, I think of you and drunk girl screams. And beer of course. Usually spilt beer.

I can't wait to visit this summer. I might be JR'ing it every night I'm there. I miss it so much.

3. Proverbs 23:17 - "Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD."

4. Congratulations to Kim and Adam on their recent engagement! I received the news from Amanda who has posted this information on her blog, so if this is where you find out instead of from Kim or Adam themselves, don't get upset! Amanda had permission, which I am applying implicitly to myself.

Amanda took this picture at their engagement party. Homesick.......



5. Quote of the week [regarding chocolate fondue]: "It was worth getting off heroin, just to have this."

Ta.

Homesick

I'm incredibly homesick this weekend.

I'm homesick for odd things like JRs and jaeger and Aqueduct and strange people that I barely knew. I'm just homesick for a place I know and am known. No one here knows or cares. It makes me just cry.

I'm home alone. As much as sometimes I would absolutely kill for a night alone, tonight I just feel lonely and isolated. I know no one. I have no one I can just be comfortable with. I have no friends I can just invite over for a bottle of wine and a chat. My heart aches.

I gotta stop thinking about it, because the tears are starting to come back, and I'm sporting my new blue mascara.

Surrounded By Drones

Sometimes, human beings exhibit how utterly useless they are. Yesterday was one of those days.

Tony for another 4 years. The best we can hope for is Brown usurps him, since he's just a Tory wearing a red rosette.

I cannot comprehend why anyone would vote for this party. Council tax has tripled under them, as have house prices. The average family's income dropped for the first time in ten years because of the tax burden. Debt spirals out of control as people borrow to support themselves, not thinking of the consequences.

We are not in a good place.

Jonah's Wail Series

I'm sorry, I totally passed over this the other day which is a horrible thing to do when broadcasting brilliance.

Emily, forgive me.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jonah's Wail starring Chicago.



Also, check out our new quizzes in our features section!

I Know, I Know....

I know.

Stuff is broke again. But at least we're rid of those ugly fonts and pixellated Greek letters. Lori says that it's my fault, and I'm not arguing with her.

Just like I gave up arguing that "fault, and" is bad grammar. You can't put and after a comma, it's dumb. "Yes, you can!" says my wife. But then she's the English major and cleverer than me, so that's ok.

Watched I Heart Huckabees tonight. Dustin Hoffman is a genius.

Lori's Bored

I have eaten WAYYYY too much today. It's 11:42 and I've had 2 weetabix, 3 teas, a bag of Discos, a Lunchable, an Irn Bru, a cup of soup and a roll. Slow down, there, tiger! Whew!

I think its boredom-eating. I'm so darned bored today. I think I'm going to puke.

I went driving with my instructor for the first time in like a month and a half last night. I did great. I think I would've passed my test, had that been my test. Oh, except for one place where I didn't realise the road was "two lanes" (because it's not, Scottish people just don't know how to enjoy a wide road), and I should've stayed in the so-called "left lane" instead of "merging without a signal" into the "right lane". Whatever. Bull. Anyway, I just need to practice doing my maneuvers more slowly (geez) and start moving my head visibly when I check my mirrors so there's no doubt I'm checking them (geez). I think checking 4 mirrors every 5-8 seconds is dangerous driving. You are paying too much attention to what's around you and not enough to what's in front of you. People could get killed.

I need to get a haircut. I look like a pukeface.

I think people who study the Classics are the funnest people around. They are so lofty (makes me think of Guilliver's Travels, the country that floated above the earth) and so ancient and their sense of humour (if they have one) is so refined and dry... I'm not making them sound fun at all. Anyway, they are and they make me laugh really hard. My friend Evin is a prime example. I haven't seen him in ages, but his blog makes me laugh. Though in person he always wanted to watch really crap movies or play karaoke.

It just occurred to me that these flowers sitting in a vase at our reception area have been alive for about a decade. How do they stay alive so long and how come my husband hasn't bought me flowers recently?

Movies We've Rented Recently
1. Napoleon Dynamite=the most overrated, built-up, not funny movie I've seen in a very long time.
2. Blade: Trinity=the most captivating, action-packed, not-expected-to-interest-me movie I've seen in a very long time.
3. Life Is Beautiful=beautiful, bittersweet, tender, heart-breaking. I couldn't stop the flow of tears.
4. Rearview Window=good, liked it a lot
5. Monty Python: Life of Brian=very funny, not sacreligious or offensive at all like I feared it might be.
6. I *heart* Huckabees=gonna watch it tonight.

Links Up!

1. Hey, just wanted to let you know that the links above ^ now have some content. The look and feel is ugly as my Aunt Mildred, but we felt that something was better than nothing. It's like a home: you start to redecorate and before you know it, you've got no walls or carpet. But you keep living there anyway. And you keep inviting your Aunt Mildred.

2. It's 11 o'clock, and I should really be in bed, but we went to the Edinburgh Zoo yesterday for May Day, and I just have to give you a sneak preview:


3. A message from Scott: "Coldplay's new single sucks. Oasis' new single sucks. Napoleon Dynamite sucks. The White Stripes new single rocks."

4. To celebrate all the good times and the new blog, I leave you with this Public Service Announcement regarding secular music.