The Perfect Lori-Sized Job

Guys, I'm not one to usually ask people on my blog to pray on my behalf. I know a lot of people feel that horrible sense of responsibility and guilt when someone asks the blogging world to pray for them, especially when you barely know them...

But look. If you don't mind saying a quick but sincere prayer, I know God'll listen. Because, guys, this is the JOB of my dreams. I found it in the paper and looked up online. I've never been more amazed at how PERFECT a job could be for me. I'm going to apply as soon as they send me an application (the vacancy isn't up on the website yet), and I hate to say it, but my heart is so SET on it. If I don't get it, I'll fully understand that God has something better and more suited for me. But if there is a chance that this is God's will, then by George, I'll take it!

Description:
CID Intelligence,
CRIMINAL INTELLIGENCE ANALYST
Working as part of a small team, you'll focus on patterns, locations and the underlying causes of crime- and the reports and statistical findings you prepare will contribute to the overall policing plan for the area. You'll research, develop and analyse intelligence from computerised and manual records, to compile intelligence profiles- collating, evaluating, analysing and disseminating information from a variety of sources, including major incidents and serious crimes. You must have high awareness of the sensitive, important nature of the information you'll be dealing with, and you may be called on to give evidence in court. With a proven track record of report writing skills, you'll be educated to Higher level, preferably including English and Maths, or have a minimum of two years' analytical or research experience - although a degree in a relevant subject and experience of i2softwarea nd Internet search engines will be an advantage. Operating a range of computer based systems, you'll be computer literate with knowledge of Microsoft Office. Your skills will include picking out critical information from large volumes of data, and accuracy is crucial- while your verbal communication and customer focus will be excellent. The nature of the role means you will often have to work under pressure, so time management is important- as are personal integerity, and self-motivation. With a flexible approach, you'll be able to adapt to change- moving with changes within the role.


I'm not kidding, I want this job.