Greatest Love Contest

"Greater love hath no one than he who calls at four in the morning to help his friends with math homework."

Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in. Scott McFarlane wins the Best Human Being in the World Award for his congeniality and willingness to help me do math over the phone at 4am his time.

I'd venture to say I'm loved more than anyone in the world.

I love you, Scott. (I only missed 9 this time. The fourth time.)

Finite Blues

I hate finite math.

Chris, I gave it the message. It said "Bite me."

Here's how the system works:
There are 8 modules/chapters.
There are 8 tests with deadlines for when the test can be taken.

It is computerized. You must answer 48 questions regarding the module. You must receive at least 90% correct before moving on. After you have completed the 48 questions correctly, you may move on to the Problems. After you have completed the problems (correctly, I'm assuming) you may take the test.

The first test deadline is Thursday.

I've gone through the 48 questions twice. The first time I missed 15. The second time I missed 17.

Now tell me, suppose I never get through the questions? I will miss the test deadline. Therefore I will fail the class. How is this a good system?? It's one thing to try all the homework, get it wrong and then take the test and make a D. (Or really I'd probalby make a C since I'm getting a lot of them right.) It's another thing to ban me from taking the test because I am unable to make an A on the homework part.

I should've taken Devon up on her offer to take the CLEP test for me. But those damn morals get in the way every time. Thanks to them, I buy my computer software and suffer through finite math courses.

I wonder if I'll even graduate.....

Scott was supposed to post...

In case you haven't noticed, Scott isn't very consistent with posting. Which is why we combined blogs in the first place. His was so frustrating to check because he never updated. Anyway, he was supposed to update this weekend, but he didn't. Perhaps he will soon.

Well, in Lori News, the garage sale went well. We had our first customer pull up precisely as we were putting up the sign leading into our driveway. He bought a desk and lots of kitchen stuff. From then on it was a constant flow of people. I sold almost everything. All my furniture (minus one desk) sold and almost all of my kitchen/house stuff. Pretty much the only stuff left is sitting on our kitchen table waiting to be taken to Salvation Army or someplace. I almost made my goal of $200, but not quite. However, if that desk sells, I will reach the goal.

Most of that money is going into our McFarlane savings account, but I took out just a little to purchase a new photo album to replace the one I had from junior high which has completely fallen apart. The new album is so attractive that I really wish the pictures inside weren't all taken when I was 13 and unable to properly work a camera. (So many double-exposed, blurry, finger-in-front-of-the-flash, heads-chopped-off 3x5 shots.) Oh well.

I also bought my first above-the-knee skirt in a LONG time. I'm losing weight. I justified the short skirt by that.

More Lori News? I cried pretty much all weekend. I miss Scott for now and miss my family and friends for the future. Plus I got the Love Actually soundtrack (which I've been wanting)and the songs make me simply miserable. Am I automatically disqualified as cool for crying with Dido?

That's about it for the Lori Weekend Update. This coming weekend I'm going home for 4th of July and I'll be spending Saturday at some second aunt's house who I haven't seen in years which most likely means a lot of wedding talk and/or a lot of comments on how much weight I've gained and "what are you gonna do with that English degree?" quizzing.

Pity/Party

Reasons to Frown:

1. I'm selling all my stuff tomorrow. No, really, ALL my stuff. All I have left is my mattress, my computer, my car, some clothes/books/cds, and a few pieces of kitchenware. Oh and my stuffed animals. I won't sell those. The mattress, computer, and car will be sold soon enough, too.

2. I miss my fiancé. I haven't seen him since March. This is unbearable.

3. I start my first math class in five years on Monday. It is a computerized course. I hate math.

4. I do not finish my Biology class on Monday. Meaning I will be working and schooling from 8 in the morning until 9 at night with literally no breaks except those necessary to transport myself from one location to the next. This will continue for the next three weeks.


Reasons to Smile:

1. I'm selling all my stuff tomorrow. I am breaking all ties with material possessions. I am cleansing my soul, or something. It's like that "All My Life For Sale" thing I saw on eBay once. It's quite an incredible thing.

2. I will be a married woman in 84 days.

3. I will dispose of my virginity in 84 days.

4. I do not have to buy a new book for my math class. I already have it.

5. It is Friday. And I don't work weekends.

6. My Scott will be calling me at 4:30. I love him.


Inspirational Desk Calendar Thought For the Day:
"Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy."- Ralph W. Emerson

If you live in my town, come to the Moving Sale we're having on Saturday! It's going to be a blast! Fun music, cool stuff, and girls in bikinis serving beer! (Ok so the three of us decided against the beer and bikinis but the rest is still true.)

It doesn't matter if it's raining. The sale is inside!

Don't miss out! We're really hip girls!

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

Colors, Colours

Mine and Scott's new landlord has said I can give him suggestions for what color I want the walls to be painted. Exciting!! I've been trying to look up color charts online this morning. There are so many lovely colors in the world, and I want them all in my house! This is so very exciting for me. Our house sounds like its gonna be so cool. Yes, I have been using the word "house". It's a 2 story house! I should really let Scott give you the details since he's actually seen it, but boys are so boring with details. The house is being really fixed up right now, but by next month it will have a fully redone new kitchen, wooden floors (that means I get to buy rugs!), and freshly painted walls. It has two bedrooms, a living room and kitchen, a patio, a loft, and even a wee garden! (I assume by "garden" that means the British kind.) And according to Scott and Pete, the view is gorgeous. It over looks the river and the whole of Greenock. The view can be seen right out the living room window.

Ah, and get this. Pete (in case you haven't caught on, that's Scott's brother) was gonna get us a fridge for our wedding present, but since this house already has one he's getting us a bed instead! I'm very excited. I can't wait to move!

And finally, if you are in the area, we're having a Moving Sale this weekend right out of our living room. Come one, come all. Buy all my stuff. It's cute stuff that is painful to get rid of. Come by Saturday and buy cute lamps and vases and dishes and stuff. (Bike, grill, dresser, and desks as well. Need a computer? A car? Gonna sell those too but not this weekend.)

The end.

I love Murdered Girl Ballads

Pretty Polly

There used to be a gambler who courted all around
There used to be a gambler who courted all around
He courted Pretty Polly, such beauty never been found.

"Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly, come go along with me,
Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly, come go along with me,
Before we get married some pleasures to see."

She jumped up behind him and away they did go,
She jumped up behind him and away they did go,
Down into the valley there was far below.

They went a little further and what did they spy?
They went a little further and what did they spy?
A newly dug grave with a spade lying by.

"Oh Willy, hey Willy, I'm afraid of your ways
Oh Willy, hey Willy, I'm afraid of your ways
I'm afraid you will lead my poor body astray."

"Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly, you guessed it just right
Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly, you guessed it just right
I dug all your grave the better part your life."

Then he stabbed her in her heart till her heart's blood did flow
He stabbed her in her heart till her heart's blood did flow
Down into the grave Pretty Polly did go.

He threw a little dirt over her and started for home,
He threw a little dirt over her and started for home,
Leaving nobody there but the wild birds to moan.

Now a debt to the devil that Willy must pay
A debt to the devil that Willy must pay
For killing Pretty Polly and running away.

* * * * * *

With Murdered Girl Ballads, there is a very specific formula that must be followed. You'll see it in nearly every one.

First, you've got a beautiful girl who has given away her virginity. It's not always stated but it's always implied. Even if it's not implied, it's understood. It's a Murdered Girl Ballad.

Second, this rogue who has talked her out of her virginity convinces her to go away somewhere with him to talk about wedding plans. She of course aquieces because now that her virginity's gone, marriage is obviously in order.

Thirdly, once they are far out of town the girl realizes he's meaning to kill her. She must always plead for mercy. She never fights back or kicks him in the balls. No, just pleads for mercy.

Fourthly, mercy is never given. Instead some horrific murder ensues. Often with incredible creativity does the murderer kill his girl. In my favorite one, the man not only stabs her but spins her around by her hair and then throws her into the river. Poor dumb girl.

At the end of a Murdered Girl Ballad the killer may or may not get caught. There is flexibility here.

I love Murdered Girl Ballads.

It's a hard life for a man with no wife....

I dreamed that Kim wasn't really in Scotland this summer, that it was all a big lie. I dreamed this because Wednesday my friend said he saw "Your friend with the blonde curly hair" at the Pedro the Lion show in Little Rock. Hmm... suspicious, eh?

So, the flat we got? The one discussed a few posts below? It's not ours now. Scott found something else, something better. So he cancelled the agreement. I feel a little sad, I was excited about red carpet and orange walls. Oh well. Scott knows what he's doing. This new place has two bedrooms (meaning Jonathan and Sarah have a place to sleep after they've drunk too much.) It also sounds like it has a bigger kitchen which pleases the cook in me. And probably the best part is that we both know the landlord. He goes to Scott's church and hasn't the strongest Scottish accent of any man I've ever met.

I'm listening to Bonnie Prince Billy.

Nothing else very interesting here. Possibly gonna see Harry Potter this weekend but the truth is, I have $2.17 in my checking account so I can't really fathom a way of paying for a movie this weekend. I was meant to see it last week when I had money but "Somebody" pooped out on me. Now I may never see it. Darned money. Darned rent. Darned credit cards.

Darned landlady for tricking us and making us sign a lease til the MIDDLE of August.

I'm done here. I'll be interesting some other day.

People who have noticed:
1. The creepy guy who works downstairs with me.
2. My Biology lab partner (who's in his mid-to-late 40s)
3. My breast doctor
4. Loud Girl


I don't know, to me it's pretty freakin' different.
(Yes, I know I'm wearing a leopard print scarf around my head. Get over it.)

Fifth Floor Flat

We got a flat!!!

The one we liked, that Scott called hip below, turned out to be a dump but the other house he looked at was the jackpot. Scott and Pete move in Monday. (Then I'll kick Pete out when I get over there.) Pete took a picture with his mobile and emailed it to me. This is our flat:



It's furnished with sofas and a bed and kitchen stuff. We considered moving our sofas in anyway and putting their sofas back in Scott's parents house until I realized the carpet is red and our sofas are red.... That's too much red. Oh well, the white sofas in the flat are nice.

We're very excited!! Scott will post more pictures after he moves in next week. Praise the Lord. We have a house!!

Well, it's time for the infrequent Scott post.

I've had the past week off. It's been marvellous. I feel like a normal human being again. It's been great.

I've not done a terrible lot, but I have been semi-busy looking for a house. Pete (my bro) and I went to see two the other day. They weren't exactly terrific, so we're still looking. We have, however, seen a charming little flat on Lynedoch Street. So we're going to see that on Monday morning, bright and early, along with another house.

Let's hope they're positively lovely. The one I want looks very hip.

Cheerio

Blessed by the Name of the LORD!

God can do all things.

Like for instance... I have a summer class to pay for which seems impossible. I called today for the balance and it was even higher than I thought. I asked for the due date- it isn't until the end of NEXT month!! I was certain I had to pay by the end of THIS month. So, I calculated what I have saved up now and what I will have saved up by the end of July-- it is PRECISELY enough!! Of course, why was I worried? Doesn't God do this ALL the time?? Hasn't He done it for me SEVERAL times?

I then figured up what I will have saved through August and the first week of September (not figuring in that I'm moving to a place with a smaller rent- hurray!), and I'm going to have enough to buy Scott's wedding ring AND actually have spending money for our honeymoon!

So Lori is a happy clam right now, and so is Scott. And we're in the process of finding a flat which is mega-exciting as well. It's all so soon. And God seems to be taking care of everything. I love that about him.

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." I like how it usually isn't until we have consciously decided to lay down our anxieties and trust God and seek Him before He proves to us He is always there. We were freaking out a couple days ago. We agreed to pray about it instead of freak out about it and voila! Money.

*NOTE- This does not mean there is a formula to getting what you want. You don't seek God TO get all these things added to you. It just happens that way. God promised it. With a catch, sort of. ;)

*SECOND NOTE- Sometimes God does not give us what we want. Does this mean His promise isn't true? Not at all, for when we seek God first, the nature of our desires may change because our desires are humanly and God's are holy. When we seek Him first, we seek His will. And God changes the desires of our hearts.

*THIRD AND FINAL NOTE- BUT God knows what we need and when we need it. So though my desire to finish college and pay for my last two classes on my own was a worldly desire (because I want a degree so I can get a good job), God has shown through his provision that this was also His desire for me to be able to afford it. So just because you desire something of this world does not mean God will say no because it is not heavenly. The point is only that God has a will for each one of our lives and it will happen whether we like it or not--but if we are seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness, everything that happens to us in that will will be exactly what we desired!

WHEW. The End.

How Well Do You Know Me?

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

Take me quiz and then make one for yeselves.
Then come back here and tell me how ye did!

Weekend Update

1. I noticed that the backend of ambulances look like enormous Storm Troopers.

2. Found out Ronald Reagan, my first President, died.

3. Mom, Dad, Danny, Matt, Charity, and I probably became the first family in the history of the world to play Family Truth-or-Dare.

4. Calculated that the wedding is 102 days away, which, interestingly, is the same number of days as when we conducted our first countdown (of how long it would be til Scott came to America), which also, interestingly, began last year on the same day this countdown ends.

5. I went to visit my friend Billy in the hospital Sunday, and he seems to be doing very well, which is a miracle. He's not doing well in the sense that I am well, or perhaps some of you are well, but well in the sense that he is not dead and is quite lucid and can move his arms and talk. Again, this is a miracle so praise God!

6. Stole some books off my dad: "The Maze of Mormonism" by somebody-somebody and "Our Inerrant Bible" by somebody-else-somebody. I should look those up, huh?

7. Mom bought her Mother-of-the-Bride Dress. She looks stunning. And she is married. Back off. Plus, she's my mom. So back off.

8. Oh yeah, went to visit the family this weekend. If you didn't already guess. It was good. Barbeque chicken, grilled corn on the cob, potato salad, homemade ice cream- all a family get together should be.

9. Went through baby pictures. I was freakin' cute. But not as cute as my wee brother Matt. He wins.

I Am An Elitist Bitch

i am an indie snob!




How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You're just too cool for school, aren't you? You're pretty narrow minded
and opinionated with regards to music (and probably most other things
as well). But you're allowed to be, because you really are better
than everyone else. You take pride in obscurity.
You probably prefer vinyl too, you elitist bitch.

Taylor, these pictures are phenomenal. Holy cow.

My First Harlequin Romance 11-4-2002

Maria had been in a passionless relationship with Paul for the past three years. Paul had long ago stopped sending her flowers, buying her jewelry, and writing love letters. Paul worked all the time, and Maria felt alone. She thought marrying Paul would add a spice to their lacking romance, but all it did was leave her frustrated. Everyday Maria came home to a messy and empty apartment. There was always something that needed to be fixed, and Paul wasn’t man enough to fix them himself.

One day in the cold month of December, twelve days before Christmas, Maria came home from work as usual and turned on the television. Static. Not the cable! Maria thought. It was precisely 1:00 in the afternoon; soap opera time. Oh, what would she do if she did not find out what Rhonda had to tell Marc, or if Cassie would really sleep with Ted, or how Robert proposed to Margaret? Angrily Maria called the cable company. She insisted that someone come out at once or she would send her boyfriend other there to get them.

While she waited, the phone rang. It was Paul telling her he would be home late. Oh, what a useless man! She desolately began making lunch for herself, all the while cursing the wretched Paul. Just as she sat down to eat a warm bowl of soup, the door bell rang. The cable man! Maria danced to the door and swung it open. There standing before her was Brock.

“I’m here to fix your cable,” he said in a low, sexy voice.

“Come in,” Maria said, also in a low and sexy voice.

Brock sauntered in, his biceps bulging out of his white t-shirt and his jeans fitting nicely around his large thighs. “Is this your T.V.?” he asked suggestively.

“Oh, why, yes. It is.” Maria held her breath as Brock got down on his knees and opened his tool box. “I was just about to have some steaming hot soup. Would you like some?” she asked in her most mysterious tone, kneeling close to him on the floor.

Brock turned and looked deep into her lovely eyes. “What kind?”

“Chicken and stars.” Maria could barely contain herself.

Brock breathed deeply as he set his wrench down on the carpet. He leaned towards her and their fingers touched lightly. “I’m a married man,” he told her with a strong pang of regret. Maria’s heart sank. She sighed and placed her hand over his, caressing it with her thumb.

“That’s okay with me.”

Brock had very little self control and Maria’s dark hair and stunning figure were too much. He held his strong hand to her face and rubbed her cheek. “Okay.” Maria stood and stared down at him. He reached up for her longingly.

“Let me just slip into something more comfortable.” Maria turned and walked slowly towards the kitchen, swaying her hips provocatively. She tied an apron around her neck and poured Brock a bowl of soup. She turned, and Brock was waiting beside her. She was startled and spilled the soup on his chest.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Maria exclaimed.

“It’s no problem,” said Brock convincingly as he removed his shirt. He took the bowl from Maria and placed it gingerly on the counter. He held her waist and pulled her close.

“It’s cold in here,” Maria whispered.

“Allow me to warm you up.” Maria closed her eyes and waited for Brock to kiss her passionately. He let go of her waist and dipped the spoon in the soup. “Open up, beautiful.” Alarmed, yet captivated by his chivalry, she allowed him to spoon-feed her the entire bowl of soup.

“Are you warm now?” She nodded.

Webcam

I just talked to Scott on Instant Messenger with his webcam on. (Actually it's his brother's digital camera.) Seeing his face erased all my fears. I know we will have a happy life together. And seeing his face reminded me how much cuter than me he is! I don't know why he's bothering with me at all. (I'm glad he is though.) I wonder if my digital camera works as a webcam? Gonna check it out when I get home.

I am constantly reminded how utterly surrounded I am with wonderful people. The families in my church home group are absolutely spectacular people. We had a Memorial Day BBQ together, and I laughed heartily almost the whole time. Heather with her Weight Watchers knowledge ("Let's see, I'll have the carrot cake because it's less POINTS since its got carrot.") and Kathy with her extremely long and thorough instructions on how to get in line to fill your plate and Bill and George with their terrible puns. I love these people. And they love me back! Everyone is so eager to help in any way they can with everything all the time. They always help me when I move out of an apartment. For the wedding, Heather (who works for an airline) is getting me and Scott plane tickets for our trip to LA to get my visa. Kathy and Ashlea want to help with food and decorations. Ethel (who is the cake manager at a grocery store) is getting me anything I need for my wedding cake. Then not to mention all the rest of the people in my church who want to help (Kristie for making the wedding cake, Kim for offering to make a chicken salad for the reception, etc.) And of course I can't forget Amanda who's been helping me with everything a maid of honor should. (And perhaps even, shouldn't.)

I'm so entirely blessed. Again, this brings sadness to my heart to be leaving this wonderful family, but I know we will all be reunited in Heaven, and God will bring me into a new body of believers where a family will develop. And I'll be married then so that'll be fun.