I Dream of Sheep

I think its time I tell some of my dreams now. All right, the night before last, I dreamed first that I went to jail for stealing a sheep. I'm in Wales, of course I'm gonna steal a sheep. See, I was with Stevie and Lewi and Scott and Pete, the whole lot, and we thought it would be funny to steal a sheep, you know, just for a laugh. But I was the only person who got caught. I was sent to this prison that was a combination of Shawshank Redemption and Bad Girls (this horrible British television drama about a women's prison). In this dream, I suddenly got into the car with Amanda (leaving prison) and - Mandy, you're gonna hate this- it was another one of those dreams where I get pissed off and yell at you- I DON'T KNOW WHY, it just happens... But I got in the car and we got in a wreck and it just happened to be this girl Caroline's car who has just started coming to our church (you haven't met her yet Amanda). Obviously Caroline was upset because we totally destroyed her car and Amanda was saying that she thinks Caroline hates her and I was like "No, Amanda, she's just upset because of her car. Now i really gotta get back to prison before they find me missing." But Amanda wouldn't hurry up and she kept on about Caroline hating her and telling me to calm down about getting back to prison so finally I screamed "YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE PUT IN JAIL!!" And I jumped out of the car and ran back to the prison just in time to follow all the other girls back in after their break and I didn't get caught.

Then that same night I dreamed that I was working on a murder case with Morgan Freeman about a little girl who was accused of killing her parents. Morgan and I had worked out all the details and we discovered that the little girl was innocent. (Is it obvious what movie I've seen recently?) At the same time, there was this Chinese lawyer who'd been working on a case about a little boy who'd been chopped up and fed to an animal at the zoo with mayonaise and coleslaw. (Ok so in the dream I actually thought "I hope this is just a dream. And I hope I'm not the wack who's dreaming it up.") Well chance would have it that the Chinese guy's case was thrown out and he was out of a job at the same time that Morgan Freeman was shot. But chance would also have it that Morgan and the Chinese lawyer were brothers so the Chinese lawyer dressed up like Morgan and went to trial and the girl was acquitted. Hurray!

Then last night I only remember bits. At one point, I was running around Glasgow with Stevie and we ran into Lewi (and I think I almost made out with him...). But that was beside the point, I was trying to get a cell phone. So we went to several different places and finally I bought a cingular service. It had the best deals. So I signed the contract then the guy told me "Your deposit will be £1,500." Oh no! I'd already signed the contract! He didn't tell me that part!

I dreamed other things last night, but you know, I can't remember at the moment. Perhaps there will be an adendum to this post. I sure hope so. And hey, if you know a psychiatrist, call him for me, will ya?