Got a distaste for wal-mart? This picture taken by my friend Chris should tickle your fancy.

You are moderately annoying!
Congratulations! There's hope for you, though
not much.


You are probably a nice person, but that doesn't
make up for all this. Yet.


PS - No one cares about your AP History class.


How Annoying Are You In Your Online Diary?
brought to you by Quizilla

Whatever. I don't care what you say, jerk. Pretentious rambling, here i come!

My brownies turned out fine, I know you were all really worried about that. On more important news, I've lost a document- I mean I simply don't know where it went! With papers I usually a) file them in one of the folders in the filing drawer at my desk b) file them in one of the "Entered Reports" files on my desk or c) file them standing straight up in my divider on my desk along with the phone books and binders and whatnot. This paper is in none of these places. I've looked everywhere- in arbitrary empty file folders scattered here in there, in case i just slipped it in one, i've looked in my supplies drawer, i've even gone through my recycle box. Nope. Can't find it. In the book I'm reading, Ursula in her old age blind lucidity discovers a helpful truth. Things get lost when they deter from the routine. If i had the book with me I'd quote it but the example is this. Fernanda (or was it Sophia?) lost her wedding ring. She was searching everywhere but what the blind Ursula understood was that Fernanda kept retracing her usual steps, following her unknown pattern. Ursula recognized that things get lost outside the usual pattern. One of the children had wet the bed so Fernanda had taken the mattress outside to clean. In doing so, she took her ring off and put it on a shelf so the kids couldn't reach it. Ursula was the only one who thought to look in the unusual spot and she found the wedding ring. Sooo the application here is this paper is not going to be in one of the three usual spots. Its going to be in the break room refridgerator or underneath the fax machine or pinned to the wall. But its not in any of those places either.

and THIS my friends, is why I am moderately annoying in my online journal.

Been reading more of One Hundred Years of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez). I'm serious, this man is a genius. A pure genius. Those yellow butterflies that were always around Mauricio Babilonia, beautiful. And when the last butterfly died, Meme finally accepted Mauricio's death... Marquez creates these worlds where people live in poems. If only I could've been a character in a Marquez book! I might have to die of an exploded intestine thanks to poison mistakenly put in my drink instead of the sister's but hey, I'd even get to die a poetic death.

What I wouldn't give for a lover who was always surrounded by yellow butterflies. But I'd settle for just a poet.

I'm making brownies right now, and the middle just won't finish baking. i'm afraid the whole top and bottom are going to burn before the middle bakes through. I hope not- cause they look so mega yummy right now.

TOMORROW'S THE D-PLAN SHOW. Dickson Theater 8pm.
(If any of my Texan friends are keeping up with this blog- D-Plan'll be in Ft Worth at the Ridglea Theater on Saturday, May 31st if you want to catch their last show.)

"I don't know how a man decides what's right for his own life, it's all a mystery."- The Flaming Lips

Crushes kinda suck. The end.

I'm glad its already Wednesday. Thats nice because that means that tonight I shall go over to Liz's house to watch Sex in the City, tomorrow (Thursday) i will pass the evening by having our Bible Study (and maybe our prayer group? but i bet that'll start like next week), and Friday is the d-plan show! then its the weekend and thats my favorite time of the week.

i feel like taking another quiz. I'll post the results below.

****


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hell yeah!!

Switzerland -
A neutral power for as long as most can remember,
it has avoided war for several centuries.
However, it is still considered highly advanced
and a global power.


Positives:

Judicial.

Neutrality.

World-Renouned.

Powerful without Force.

Makes Excellent Watches, Etc.


Negatives:

Target of Ridicule.

Constant Struggle to Avoid Conflict.

Target of Criminal Bank Accounts.



Which Country of the World are You?
brought to you by Quizilla




That's what I was hoping I'd be. So this morning was supposed to fly because we were scheduled to have a training session that would last all morning. But the computers were being stupid and the connections were failing and here I am, back in my office. I'm planning on having a great week. I'll let you know as the week progresses how my plan works out.

Shows to attend:
Friday, May 30- Dismemberment Plan at Dickson Theater (8pm)
Saturday, May 31- Sharkie at Arsaga's on Gregg (8pm)

"Hold to Christ, and for the rest be totally uncommitted." -Herbert Butterfield

I started reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez earlier this year in my Fiction class but I never finished it. It's been sitting on my desk ever since. I've known in my head that it is one of the most incredible books I've ever read and once I pick it back up I won't be able to put it down. Well, it's Memorial Day and I didn't have to do anything this morning so I decided to read. I read several pages in Desiring God by John Piper, but if any of you have read any John Piper- you'll understand why I only read several pages. It's hard stuff. So I put it down but I still felt like reading. So I noticed One Hundred Years... sitting there and I decided it was time to pick it back up. I backed up to the beginning of the chapter I'd left on to refresh my memory and was sucked in. I've been reading all morning. It is incredible! Today I was inspired. It was the part when Remedios the Beauty is levitated into the clouds with Fernanda's white sheets. Amazing. This book is full of inspiration. Dustin told me his inspiration came when it rained yellow flower petals. I know no one reads this thing, but man, if you're reading this and you're a reader, GET THIS BOOK. I can't imagine anyone not loving it.

In three hours and ten minutes I will have something to do. I'm going to a Memorial Day bbq. Its going to be yummy.

Something I read this morning in Desiring God really intrigued me. He was talking about serving God- I might as well just quote him on this. It's so true: "God's insistence that we ask Him to give us help so that He gets glory (Psalm 50:15) forces on us the startling fact that we must beware of serving God and take special care to let HIim serve us, lest we rob Him of His glory." What a strange thought, but how true! We shouldn't be going around striving to serve God as if he needed us! "God... [is not] served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." (Acts17:24-25) Instead we should allow Jesus to wash our feet, to serve us, so that he gets ultimate glory and we get none. Sound self-centered? It's not. Its humbling- we can't do anything but obey God. We are servants, indeed, but only in the sense that we do as we are told, not in the sense that we go around and do great things for God- bec its only through God that we are able to do great things- we should beware of our glory stiffling God's. Piper then goes on to quote Isaiah 64:4- "From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides thee, who works for those who wait for him." GOD works for those who WAIT on him. Piper writes, "He aims to be the Workman for us, not vice versa. Our job is to 'wait for Him.' "

It's a good lesson. Now I have to start living by it. That's the hard part.

You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
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Other than that, there's not much more to say. I saw an old Skirt CD at Clunk yesterday and I'm going to get it because I think Dustin is the coolest person I know. I'm also going to get Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots- Flaming Lips because I think that is currenlty the coolest CD I've ever heard.

"I thought there was a virtue in always being cool." -The Flaming Lips

So last night I was trying to write some poetry before Bible study. The best line I could come up with is "I've got a green orange tomato and a head full of soup." Let's just say I was uninspired. Here's the good news- it's FRIDAY! Yes, the last day of work before a long Memorial Day weekend. Heh, not that I have a damn thing to do this weekend. With Amanda and Ingrid gone for the summer, I don't even have anyone to sit around and be bored with. And as far as I can remember, all my friends that are still here are going to be gone this weekend too. Lots o'people are going to Riverfest to see James Brown and Joan Jett (sp?). I'm not cuz I'm po. So I guess I should take this weekend as an opportunity to spend some time alone, clear my mind, find my inner child-- what the hell, no way. It's a long weekend and I'm a full-timer now! I need to be celebrating! I need to be partying! I need to be having fun! Oh please oh please, I know like maybe one person in the entire world reads this- but if you're going to be in town this weekend, call me?

I've been feeling so emotionally/physically/spiritually drained this week. I have fair enough reasons for each. But it sucks. Yesterday I took two naps- one on my lunch break and one when I got home from work and that felt good. Got in bed by 11 or so. Bible study was pretty laid back. Ugh, except for when the boys pulled out water guns and saturated me. I was super pissed. :) kinda. Well, yeah I was pissed after they wouldn't stop. I had to go change clothes. And I was feeling cute. You know how bad that sucks, when you like what you're wearing, you feel comfortable, and you feel cute and people annihilate with water guns. I went upstairs and got my water gun which is always fully loaded and resting beside my bed in case of an emergency, took it downstairs with aim to get them back-- and the blasted thing wouldn't shoot! I guess its a good thing it was Andrew and Kraus and not a burglar or a rapist or something.

It's nearing the one month mark of leaving for Scotland and Wales. I leave July 1st- it is getting close! I gotta start saving money. Bleh.

to someone who kinda means a lot to me: "If your legs get tired I will be your chair. If you get a tangle I would comb your hair." -Sharkie

So last night I had my second band practice :D It was fun. Makes me feel like a loser though- I sure wish I could play an instrument.

I had dinner with my Dad last night since he was in town on business. We went to Cracker Barrel and discussed Calvinism. It was a good time.

I had a meeting this morning but it didn't last nearly long enough. I don't have much to do right now-- scratch that. I have several things to do right now but I don't know how to do them. And I'm really hungry but I'm broke.

These are the things involved in my life right now. Pretty rad huh.

"I have loved to hear my Lord spoken of, and wherever I have seen the print of His shoe in the earth, there have I coveted to put mine also." -John Bunyan

During the first two years of my salvation, it seemed to me that God was rather slow. He had perfect timing, "but it's just not our timing." He seemed to take his time with things, like the tortoise in the tortoise and the hare story. Though the tortoise was slow, he was ultimately the winner.

Recently God's been changing my perspective on that. God's timing sometimes is slower than we'd like. We're a fast paced society, we have things to do, people to reach, God to serve and by golly, let's get this show on the road. And God's telling us to slow down, "Be still and know that I am God." Ok ok I'm slowing down now let's get on with it. But you know, God can be incredibly speedy too! I'm reminded of the the story in Genesis when Abraham has sent a servant out to find a wife for Isaac. The servant goes to the town well and begins praying that God will show him who should be Isaac's wife and before he's finished praying Rebecca walks out. God's been doing that with me lately. Before I even give God that awesome, heartfelt, emotional prayer, he's already answered it. He's been showing me through different circumstances that he likes to work "fast" just as he likes to work "slow." It's all about timing. Timing doesn't mean a slowness- it's a preciseness.

But let's be honest, I'm totally digging it when God hops to it quicker than I would've. I like it when God reveals his ultimate power to me in such a direct way as he has been lately. It increases my faith. And without faith it is impossible to please him, right? So Lord, help me to believe and forgive my unbelief!

I'm glad God is the guy who's God. Man, if it had been anyone else, we'd all be so screwed. Only God would forgive me and love me in spite of all the stupid and hypocritical things I do.

I really like God. I like when I dream about God. I had a dream about him last night. I dreamed I was back in Biological Anthropology with Dr. Plavcan (no!!) and we were told to do this like weird dance around the room chant thing... Dustin was in the dream, that's always good, I certainly needed his companionship. And Justin Keogh was there too. Anyway, the entire class left at one point except for like 20 of us and we're the ones who had to do the chant. It wasn't that big a deal so I participated. Then Plavcan said something about God not existing with some theoretical proof or something and said, "If you don't agree with that, stand up and tell me how."

Now usually in these dreams, I stand up and start sharing the gospel with everyone. And its always amazing. Last night, I stood up and found myself saying, "I'm leaving, I just hate politics, ya know?"

And thats how I'm feeling right now. Like I can't stand up. Like I'm starting to waiver. IBut that's one of the other cool things about God, he doesn't let us waiver too much. It's not the kind of waiver like I'm losing faith or anything-- I've just "fallen off the pedestal, landed upon the dirty floor". I've been reading Desiring God by John Piper and one thing that's been an encouragement to me is just his chapter on scripture. How scripture is the "kindling of fire of joy" (probably misquoted here). I want to start spending more time in the scripture. I've been reading through Psalms and its been really cool. Gosh there is so much to go into. Just about how God is shaping me right now.

This entry is just gonna have to be too short. God is doing too much. He's teaching me about theology and love all at the same time, grace and wrath, submitting my will, all sorts of things I'd like to get into now. But I'm ending this for the time being. I am at work. I've got reports to run.

I'll sum it up with this. "The Word of God well understood and religiously obeyed is the shortest route to spiritual perfection. We must not select a few favourite passages to the exclusion of others. Nothing less than a whole Bible can make a whole Christian."- A.W. Tozer

That includes 2 Cor 6:14.

All right folks. I don't know jack about html- how was i supposed to know this thing ran on that crap? So this will be a pretty sucky looking blog until i get some stuff figured out.

I had a girly-day on Saturday. One of those days where you just feel sad for no reason. When you're in your car and a good song comes on and you turn it up loud hoping it will make you feel good but instead you just burst into tears. Then you reach your destination and park, and you think the tears have subsided but as soon as you turn off the engine you burst into tears all over again. And you lay your head on the steering wheel hoping no one will park next to you and look at you, or hoping someone you know doesn't come outside and see you. I had that kind of night. I just felt very very sad. But it felt good to cry, man. I haven't cried in a while. So i think a good cry was in my system somewhere and needed to get out. So I'm glad i had a girly-cry-night. When I was finally done, I went over to Clunk's house. But then i was super-sensitive to everything anyone said to me- I almost cried like five times, over something Lincoln said, something Tony Tost said, something Tommy said, etc etc etc. And Clunk was my hero of the night because he noticed something was wrong and asked me if i was ok and whatnot, that i seemed timid and not myself. That's always nice, to be noticed just a little when you're feeling down.

Other than that, the weekend was great. I saw the Matrix with Shane, saw the Tickle on Friday, Ryan came home and emailed me (and i've missed him so much, which is totally dorky bec we're just new friends and he's only been gone a week- but i really miss talking about Jesus and John Calvin with him), AND, best of all, practiced with Sharkie on Sunday. :) I'm gonna be singing backup with them on May 31st- hahaha. It's gonna totally rock.

And now, for my big important Development Group meeting- I'm getting introduced as the new Report Writer.